Thursday, August 13, 2009
Our baby is in Good Hands
Just wanted to check in and let yall know the D&C went well this morning. No complications. Feeling really crampy and tired but glad its over. They said I should be healed physically within a few days but emotionally time will tell. I love my Dr for that, its not all about the medicine. He has gone through the same exact situation and you could tell it was hurting him watching us go through it. They are going to send the embryo off for testing, hopefully it will give us some answers.
I guess I woke up out of anesthesia historically crying. Probably due to all the emotions that build up but I had a lovely and unexpected visit when I was under. I was with my Grandma, sitting with me holding my hand and telling me everything was going to be okay and she would take care of our little one and how proud she was of us for being so strong and keeping our trust in the Lord. I joked with her in my dream and said she was just getting lonely and wanted a Great Grand to play with, we laughed (seeing that wonderful big smile of my Grandma's one time just made everything seem better). I told Jason about my visit and the joke and he laughed saying that's probably true. Being with her even is a dream really help with closure knowing that our baby was in good hands.
I guess I woke up out of anesthesia historically crying. Probably due to all the emotions that build up but I had a lovely and unexpected visit when I was under. I was with my Grandma, sitting with me holding my hand and telling me everything was going to be okay and she would take care of our little one and how proud she was of us for being so strong and keeping our trust in the Lord. I joked with her in my dream and said she was just getting lonely and wanted a Great Grand to play with, we laughed (seeing that wonderful big smile of my Grandma's one time just made everything seem better). I told Jason about my visit and the joke and he laughed saying that's probably true. Being with her even is a dream really help with closure knowing that our baby was in good hands.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Sad Day
Yesterday went to what was suppose to be my graduation from my RE but ended up being a goodbye to this chapter in our life. Yesterday our Dr. was not able to find the heartbeat of our little one. The baby was still there but measured at around 9 weeks, which I would have been 9 weeks 6 days. For an hour he tried many different ways but it was just not there. So, sadly I write the passing of our first baby. Due to me still carrying I have to schedule a D&C. They are going to test the embryo to see if they can give us an answer as to "WHY". Just maybe, maybe, that will give us same closer. Jason and I both appreciate all your prayers and we know this is not mean we will not be able to have a family. Just means it will not start in March. We are still going to do what we need to do and we know that the Lord has a plan for us. We just have to trust him.
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