Louie ready for car ride....

I had to post this picture. My mom and dad got a new van and they have built in car seats. I joked with my mom and said "for what grandkids?" my dad reply "Louie" So, while they were here my sister put him in the car seat. It was the cutest thing. He just rode like he was suppose to be there. Just had to share....who needs a child when you have the cutest and sweetest furbaby ever!

For Jason's birthday weekend, we went to St. Augustine, FL (one of our favorite places to visit) with Brad and Holly. It was so much fun. We did a midnight Ghost Tour of the Island in a hearse. I will post the rest of the picture as soon as I get it uploaded. This is us that night waiting on the hearse...just thought Id share...

So irritated and upset....

I just dont understand. People suprise me everyday. Why do people do what they do? Why do they hurt people they love but are too blind to see it or do they know what they are doing? Just makes you realize maybe you really dont know some people. I just hate its hurting someone I love so much, it makes me hurt.

I need surgery....

Alright, sorry I haven't posted with the results of this cycle but I wanted to wait until we had our follow up with our RE last Thursday. The result was negative, again. Even with all the eggs. We just thought this was it and was devastated to find out, God once again has a different plan. Due to having 3 failed cycle, my RE wanted to meet and reevaluated what we were doing. He provided us with three options:

1) Continue to a new medicated cycle called mega-stem. We just got done with a mini-stem, the difference would be we would max out the dosage for the fertility medicine. He said that if I was overstimulated like I was this time, I could then transfer to a IVF cycle which is only about $4000 versus the $9000-$12000 of a regular IVF.

2) He believes that the reason for the failed cycle is an underlying issue. Based on my ultrasounds and the scar tissue he sees with NO past surgeries, he believes that I have endometriosis. So, he wants to do surgery and remove everything plus get a closer look of my ovaries and uteries. This was about a week recovery, it is laposcopic so he would go through my belly button and make 3 small incisions in my lower belly.

3) Next cycle we would just do an IVF, this is really not an option for us. Main reason we are not ready to give up, which is what I feel we would be doing by doing an IVF. The other reason is the cost. Our insurance will pay for 3 more medicated/IUI cycles and we would like to exhaust those first. Don't get me wrong, we still our paying allot out of pockets for copays and the medicine that the insurance doesn't pay for but we just aren't ready.

So, we have concluded that it would be best do go on with the surgery instead of waiting on another failed cycle and having only 2 more paid cycles afterwards. This way, we will have 3 more after the surgery. They are suppose to call today to schedule it and I will have to make arrangements with work. They would like to do it as soon as possible that way when I heal they can go directly into a new cycle due to the increased fertility rate. We are extremely lucky though because my RE, who I absolutely love, is one of the ONLY Dr. that can cut out the endometrosis versus the traditional burning. When you burn it off, it has the potential of returning versus the method he chooses. So, really excited about that.

Update from Friday....

So, Friday turned out to be a pretty good appointment. Found out that I went from 4 to 3 follicles which is good but they were only at like 15 cm which they want them around 18 cm. They wanted to avoid the risk of all the little ones I still had of growing so decided just to give my body two days to hopefully grow them on their own. So, Friday and Saturday we coasted and just hope they did what they were suppose to. Did my trigger shot last night and had our first IUI this morning. We are doing another IUI in the morning. April 20th will be the magically day to let us know if we have to go through all of this again. We hope this was it...

This will be the first Easter (EVER) without my Grandma. I have spent every Easter of my life at my Grandma's house eating her good cooking. This is hard, the day is slowly getting closer and every day is getting harder. I thought they said time heels all wombs....I just dont know if that is true. The little things just make start crying. We were in the Dr. office the other day and I was reading an article about family get togethers and I just started tearing up. Or how about the bad thunderstorms we had last week and we were watching the news and saw the huge lines of storms going through Brunswick. I said, without thinking, I better call Grandma and make sure she is okay. Then it hit me and I teared up. The tears just keeping coming and now that we are getting closer to Easter it is starting to become more real again. Luckily I dont have to be by myself. We are still going to head up to Grandma's house where my mom, dad, Ali, Aunt Rhonda and Uncle Jim will be. We plan on going to First Free Will Baptist like usual. Two things will be missing, my Grandma and her amazing Easter lunch. I remember how hard it was wtih Grandpa going through the first Holidays without but at least we still had Grandma. Now it is SO different. Grandma just know, I will always love you and hope you will always be proud of me!

Good news today....still to come

Just a quick update on the appointment today. So, GOOD news. They didn’t cancel my cycle today. Looks like I only had 4. One on my right, 12 cm, and three on my left, 10, 9, and 8. All the other ones stayed small and they aren't concerned about them. They want the ones I have to get larger so they are giving me an extra 50 tonight of the follitism. Then I go back on Friday to see how everything is. If I still just have the 4 and they are a little larger, then we will do our trigger that night and our IUI's on Sat and Sun. Keeping fingers crossed…we aren't in the clear yet. If any of the little ones grow too, then they will cancel our cycle. Errgg….I would like to be in my 2WW. I think that would be better then this.

Be back on Friday....hopefully with GREAT news!