an you believe it! I am alive!!!  And how my little ones have grown!!!!!






Madison and Jackson are 3 1/2.  Madison is my sweet little diva and just so independent.  Jackson is well, he is a boy.  My family likes to call him a sour patch kid.  One minute he is so sweet and loving and then the next he is tackling you on the floor.  But he has the biggest heart.










And well, we want number 3.  We feel now the twins are getting older we want that baby.  So, we secretly have been doing a frozen cycle.  With the twins IVF round, we got 5 5day blast that were good quality. We transferred two and froze 3.  On June 3rd we transferred one (yes only one :) ) on that day.


I thought that a frozen cycle after all this time would be so easy but man did it bring all the emotions of the roller coaster back like we were still on that journey.  The shots, the hormones, the schedule, the test....it was just all back.  Friday I have my blood drawn to get my beta numbers but I cheated of course. I am not sure what to make of it.  I got a VERY faint squinter on the First Response but the digital came up pregnant. I am nervous about the faint line but I thought with a digital you have to have at least 50 hcg level.  Hmmmmmm.....what does it all mean!




Sorry tried to put pics and it wouldn't let me. will have to later tonight!

7 weeks

How Far Along: today I am 7 weeks and 2 days

Size of Baby: they are both about the size of a blueberry, I dont remember the exact measurements she provided....

Picture of Baby: Baby A was very photogenic, he/she is too the left. Baby B however, has a huge condo but he/she is all the way down at the bottem.



Maternity Clothes: the twins have given me a belly, tight restrictive clothes are deffinitly out now, I like loose. I plan to go shopping at 9 weeks.

Weight Gain: gained 2 pounds this week

Belly: cant hide it much longer, makes my husband smile though, its so cute

Stretch Marks: not yet....keeping that cream on

Sleep: not sleeping as good as I was the last couple of weeks but still getting plenty of rest.

Best Moment of the Week: during the ultrasound, the nurse had both heartbeats in view, it was awesome

Movement: not yet but can feel the belly stretching

Symptoms: nausea is my best friend right now and I dont want to be its friend. They did give me medicine but I am scared to take it. I am using sea bands and they are helping.

Food Cravings: pickles and chicken nuggets

Gender: everyong keeps saying 2 girls, I would like boy/girl

What I Miss: Dr Pepper and hot baths

What I'm Looking Forward to: feeling okay with pregnancy, I had spotting recently and I am ready to see the twinkies next week to have comfort.

Weekly Wisdom: that spotting is usual in pregnancy

Milestones: able to see an actuall figure on the ultrasound, Baby A head and tail was clear.

Emotions: scared and concerned but still happy

Infertility from A to Z

I read this at JSpuared and thought it was an awesome insight for the IF world. Feel free to copy and use, would love to read your answers!

A – Age at Which you Started Trying To Conceive: 23
B – Baby Dancing or Sex: baby dancing
C – Children Wanted: set of 3, now with twins looking at 4 children
D – Dogs/Cats/Fill In Babies: our furbaby, Louie, and my BF child
E – Essential Oils/Vitamins: Prenatal vitamin
F – Fertility Meds I’ve Taken: Baby aspirin, prenatal vitamin, Letrozole, Clomid, Lupron, Prometrium, low dose HCG, trigger shot, Estradiol,, Ovidrel, Follistem, Gonel-F (I am sure I have left off many, lets just say, we have done allot!)
G – Gain, What I have Gained from Infertility: how wonderful my husband has been through out the process and how awesome our families are for support. you really find out who is really there for you!
H – HSG test: yes, hated it but everything was good
I – Infertile Pet Peeve: When people tell you, dont worry if you cant have a baby you can adopt? um, have you looked into the cost of adoption, the waiting list, or even the emotion regarding new born adoptions then of course the famous words "it will happen" no it will not just happen, I have ovulation issues, I DONT OVULATE! you cant have a baby if you dont ovulate
J – Job Title: claims adjuster
K – Kids Names you are Afraid will be Taken: it has already happened and I credit about it for days. it was special, my mothers maiden name was Jackson and she said she wanted her first grandson to be named Jackson. Well, Jason and I talked about it when we first got married and loved it and had it picked since that day. Unfortunatly, there will now be two Jacksons in our family but only one Jackson Thomas Coakley :)
L – Lengh of Time Trying to Conceive: 4 years
M – Miscarriages: 1 at 10 weeks
N – Number of Times you have Swiched Reproductive Endocrinologists: once but I dont think it counts because we went back to our first one
O – Ovarian Quality: they produce follicles, usually empty ones ;(
P – Pee-On-A-Stick or Wait for Aunt Flo: I am a pee-on-a-stick aholic and it doesnt help my husband is too.....
Q – Quote from an Obnoxious Fertile: "your doing fertility treatments, is that because yall dont want to natural" are you KIDDING me, who wants to go through all the pain and suffering of hormones and shots and lets not forget the financial part when I could just MAKE LOVE TO MY HUSBAND...ughhhh
S – Sperm: nice high count, just has a few lazy boys...
T – Time you Tried Naturally: we are always trying naturally hoping for a miracle (5 years)
U – Uterus Quality: slightly tilted but looks good
V – Vagina: No complaints there
W – What Baby Stuff do you Already Have: my mom and sister just purchased me a playyard from Ellen's show for mothers day....that will be my first baby purchase
X – Xtra, Xtra, Hear all about it! How many people know about your TTC Journey: at first, family and close friends, now its like WHATEVER!
Y – Yearly Exam: every year, usually September...my RE recommends an annual
Z – Zits: I take hormones, what do you think!

TWINS!!!!

Our two jelly beans snuggled in.....

U/S went awesome yesterday. Even though I am only like 5 weeks and 3 days, we were able to see the flickering of the heart on both the babies. They are both great size and Dr said they are beautiful. I was speachless at first because in my head I was thinking two cribs, strollers, car seats, etc.....now I am so excited. We have waited so long to have this moment again and to be blessed with two! Words can not describe!!!!

For those families and friends that read, we are not sharing quite yet.....please keep it quiet a little longer :)

Fear Number 1

Alright, first ultrasound since baseline. I was so nervous going in. I just knew I didnt have that many just like last time. First ovary, a 10 which is awesome and then about 6 or 7 more which were all decent size based on CD I am on. other ovary, about the same thing about 6 or 7. So at this moment we have about a dozen (maybe baker dozen) of eggs that are growing well. So, fear number one has been put to rest.....

Now fear number two comes up and its that when they do retreival I will have empty follicles like last time and end up with three......just praying this will not happen.

Praying my mommyhood days are coming soon......

GTL: Gym, Tan, Laundry

Seriously, doesnt it make you mad. Why is it not WGTL...where is the W for work? They make $60,000 an episode and if you dont know who they is, its Jersey Shore. GTL stands for gym, tan, and laundry. I happen to watch the show before going to work this morning and while I am at work I started thinking about it. A guy that people know for his abs and ridiculous nickname, "the situation" gets 6 figures for his autobiography. This is what this world has come too. We are more interested in watching people that make up sayings for things that already have words and have crazy nicknames like J WOWWW and Snoookie then about politics and education. Then we all wonder why are kids dont know who the Vice President is or what the senate is. We also have kids starving and people needing help but someone is paying these kids millions of dollars for appearances. Does anyone else not see the problem?

Well, back to reality. Jason and I have started thinking about trying again. I think enough time has passed since loosing baby nugget and we are just ready to try again. Since working out I have had 2 periods on my own. Not regular but hey, its something. I use to have nothing. I go to my OBGYN next week to see if she will put me back on Clomid. I figure we will start small and go big again. Maybe with the weight loss, I may not need to go and have another IVF. Lord willing, maybe my body will treat me better then last time. I bought a ovulation watch because I heard with PCOS they are the best bet. We will see....everyone please keep Jason and I in your prayers. We are waiting on God to tell us what he wants to do and this just seems right for some reason.