1 yr anniversary

Hey everyone...I know its been a while since I posted but we were just getting past the emotional part. It has gotten allot easier. This month marks the one year anniverary that we have been with our reproductive specialist. The things we have learned, been through, and experience have been quite the book I wont write but hopeuflly I will not have to write our 2 year anniversary post next year.

We did decided after speaking with our RE that we are going to try an IUI cycle since our insurance will pay for 3 more. It didnt work for us before but why not give it a shot? I will keep everyone posted. We go to our baseline this Friday, if everything looks good (if I have heeled completely) then we will start the medications and get the ball rolling. Please keep us in your prayers as we start the infertility journey once again.

Branson Pictures

Our baby is in Good Hands

Just wanted to check in and let yall know the D&C went well this morning. No complications. Feeling really crampy and tired but glad its over. They said I should be healed physically within a few days but emotionally time will tell. I love my Dr for that, its not all about the medicine. He has gone through the same exact situation and you could tell it was hurting him watching us go through it. They are going to send the embryo off for testing, hopefully it will give us some answers.

I guess I woke up out of anesthesia historically crying. Probably due to all the emotions that build up but I had a lovely and unexpected visit when I was under. I was with my Grandma, sitting with me holding my hand and telling me everything was going to be okay and she would take care of our little one and how proud she was of us for being so strong and keeping our trust in the Lord. I joked with her in my dream and said she was just getting lonely and wanted a Great Grand to play with, we laughed (seeing that wonderful big smile of my Grandma's one time just made everything seem better). I told Jason about my visit and the joke and he laughed saying that's probably true. Being with her even is a dream really help with closure knowing that our baby was in good hands.

Sad Day

Yesterday went to what was suppose to be my graduation from my RE but ended up being a goodbye to this chapter in our life. Yesterday our Dr. was not able to find the heartbeat of our little one. The baby was still there but measured at around 9 weeks, which I would have been 9 weeks 6 days. For an hour he tried many different ways but it was just not there. So, sadly I write the passing of our first baby. Due to me still carrying I have to schedule a D&C. They are going to test the embryo to see if they can give us an answer as to "WHY". Just maybe, maybe, that will give us same closer. Jason and I both appreciate all your prayers and we know this is not mean we will not be able to have a family. Just means it will not start in March. We are still going to do what we need to do and we know that the Lord has a plan for us. We just have to trust him.

7 week checkup

Today was our 7 week ultrasound with the RE and everything was perfect. The baby doubled in size to 1CM and the heartbeat was strong. We were so excited and realize to see our little miracle still growing. The baby has been good to me, everyone asked me at the Dr. how I was feeling expecting the worst but to be honest I have had a great 7 weeks. I don't really get nauseated and if I do its not severe and I have yet to have had to hug the toilet. So, I am very happy that I have had a great first trimester so far but I am glad that I have had an U/s every week because with the lack of pregnancy symptoms, I would be going crazy not knowing if everything was okay if I wasn't able to get that report every week. I go to my OBGYN on Tuesday and then my next U/S will not be till we get back from vacation on the 10th. Hopefully I will be able to make it :)

Sneak Peak

Here is the first pic of our little baby! Its a amazing. This is a 6 week picture and its a little miracle. We did get to see the flutter of the heart beat. It was the most amazing thing ever. This is a miracle and again, thanks for everyone that was praying. We beat medical odds and we all know there is only one person that makes ANYTHING happen.

Missing her....

Its been about 5 months since my Grandma passed. I have been doing pretty good lately but the day I found out I was pregnent, it has gotten hard again. It was so hard, I wanted to dial her number, I wanted to call her up and tell her that Amanda and Jason were finally going to be real parents (she didnt consider Louie making us paretns...lol) She use to say, "you better treat your kids BETTER then you do that dog" I loved her, she knew how to make any situation a great situation.

I wanted to share the hapiness and joy with her because she had been praying with us, for us, through it all. She was there for us, when we needed a break I went and spent a weekend with her and we would just sit around the house and talk and talk. I love her so much and still miss her greatly. After not being able to call her I know that my baby has an amazing gaurdian angel, one that will watch over them and love them. I knew that she had a hand in picking out our perfect miracle baby. It made me feel so much better thinking about her watching over but oh how I wish I could go through this experience with her. I never though I would have to do it without her, she was suppose to live to 100. My kids were suppose to know her.

Okay, I am starting to cry at work so I just needed to share.

Not so fun....but now I feel pregnant

Well the last week I went from worrying that the test might be a false positive to I am so ready for my second trimester. This baby has made me tired, dizzy, and not hungry. I know I have to eat though so I make my self eat as much as possible but I have lost a couple of pounds. My Dr. said this is normal because I will be sensitive to certain foods, she told me to eat whatever I can and try small meals which it seems to help. I dont really get morning sickness, I get afternoon sickness, I left work early yesterday because I got clammy and dizzy and knew I needed to lay down. Migraines have been the worst. Tomorrwo I have an acupuncture appointment and I am going to see if she can help my daily headaches. I think they are the main reason I get so sick in the afternoon.

A week and a day we will do our first ultrasound and I am so counting the days. We have the first ultrasound picture, they printed a picture of the embryo in my uterus after they transfered it. Now I cant wait to add to it and make a pregancy book. Just cant wait. I hope baby is healthy and growing. Its hard not knowing right now. I worry and pray everyday. I bought a week by week book which has helped because my symptoms have matched up. It makes sense of stuff and is helping me allot. Also casting my fears to the Lord, that has been the biggest relief.

Its a MIRACLE!

Okay, due to a few emails regarding the results I guess it wasnt fair to countdown to testing and then not tell the results. We did get the results back yesterday and they were positive. I AM FINALLY PREGNANT!

Now, I do ask for family and friends that read the blog to keep to your self for the time being. At least till our first appointment on July 16th. There are just so many things that can go wrong from now to then like being a chemical pregnancy and I just want to be 100% certain before we tell the world, although we really really want to. I knew I had to update the blog because everyone knew we had tested yesterday and were wanting the results.

We are both so excited. I think I am still in shock, its hard to believe right now. I didnt listen to anything the Dr. said yesterday after congradulations so I will be calling him back today. I think when you have so many negative after negative, when you get a positive its like you are in fear of the next thing to go wrong. I am trying to stay positive but its hard because I have all these thoughts running in my head. I do believe it was the power of prayer, a miracle. Thanks for everyone that kept us in your prayers and I ask you continue to do so as we get throug this first trimester.

My smart husband made the Dean's List

I know allot of family members read this blog and just wanted to make you aware of just how great Jason is doing in College....this is an email he received after he made the Dean's list this year....

Dear Jason Coakley,

On behalf of the faculty and staff at Ashford University, congratulations on being named to the Dean's list for spring 2009. Your appointment to the Dean's List is published on the Ashford University website under the Academic Superstars link. (If you have submitted a request not to release or publish information about you, your name is not included.)

Your dedication and commitment to your studies make you a great role model for others to emulate. You and your family should feel quite proud of your accomplishment. All of us at Ashford University share in this pride as well and believe that students like you help make Ashford University the quality learning institution it is.

Again, congratulations for a job well done!

Sincerely,

Elizabeth Tice
Provost

Hope Gardina
Vice President, Academic Affairs

William C. Lowe
Dean, College of Arts and Sciences

Charles Minnick
Dean, College of Business and Professional Studies

Joen Rottler
Dean, College of Education

Tomorrow's the day......

Tomorrow is the day for the blood test to find out if we are pregnant or not. Hopefully this will be our miracle baby but if not we understand it is just not our time. We have talked and as far as infertility treatments go, we are going to take a break if this doesn't work. We don't right now have the funds for another IVF and we have 3 IUI"s left with insurance but we don't want to use them up when there are no new changes. I may go through with the laposcopic surgery before (pray for us) I start, hopefully, my new position in September. It would be a while with a 7 week training course that I could take some time off so I would like to do it before. That is hoping and wishing I get the new job.

We are planning a trip to Branson with my mom and dad in August. They are treating us and I am really excited. It will be good to get away for little bit from this and just breathe. We are excited just to be away from it all for a short while. Then when we are ready we will start the process again. I just feel mentally and physically we are spent.

All we can do now is leave it in God's hands...

Sorry I am just now updating everyone. I haven't been able to sign on my account lately. Saturday I had an u/s that my Dr. felt I was borderline ready. Sent me home for one more night of shots and then the appointment on Sunday was when the decision was made that it was time. Only one more shot to go and that was our trigger shot (shot that makes me ovulate). Tuesday morning went in to have my eggs harvested, I was put to sleep so I wasnt feeling to great that day. Just allot of cramping from the procedure but nothing not tolerable.

The u/s on Sunday showed from 7 follicles which I was told not all would have eggs. I was thinking I would have around 5 but turned out they only harvested 3. I was extremely upset at the beginning because I really was hoping we would have some to freeze but we were not going to. Then there was the fear all day that none of them were going to fertilize leaving us with no embryos. It was a hard and long wait but we got a call on Wed telling us that 2 of the 3 fertilized. So, right now we have two embryo's wildly growing in a tube as my mom puts it and tomorrow, Friday, we go to have them transferred.

Everyone please keep us in your prayers that this is it. Financially and emotionally, if this is once again a negative, we will have to take a break.

Just a little update....

Nothing new really. Just wanted to let everyone know where we are. I took my pills on Saturday that get everything started and tonight I start stimming with the shots. Not looking forward to that but it will all be worth it some day I hope. Wed is our first U/S to see what number of follicles we are working with. Hopefully that will bring us good news.

My mom and sister are staying with us right now. They came down with my dad, who is staying at my Grandma's house trying to get things sorted. So, mom and Alison have been with us going to the pool everyday....lol. No suprise there. Alisha, my middle sister, flies in tomorrow morning with her boyfriend and they will be staying with us also. Its a good thing Jason and I decided on the three bedroom instead of the two. It would be a tight squeeze....

Only downfall of my mother being here is she likes to eat out. I am suppose to be on a "no carb" and its been hard eating out. I try to get saleds and diet drinks but in doing so I have the biggest headache. I just have to suck it up though, like I said earlier, it will all be worth it one day :)

Day 1- IVF

Well, today was the beginning of one of the most important things of our lives. Today Jason and I went in for our baseline ultrasound to make sure everything is okay to start the stimulation with medication. We were given the go and I will start taking my medicine next week with our first u/s of the follicles on the 1oth. I am not looking forward to it because they warned me I will be extremely bloated due to the amount of follicles they are wanting me to produce but hey, the more we get the more we will have to freeze in case this cycle doesnt take so I will deal with a little bit of bloating to get me there.

I love my RE. We couldnt ask for a better one. Our previous cycles have all been pretty much controlled by the RN's but I am guessing the amount of money we are paying this cycle we get to have Mr. Lipari himself. He has done everything for us, he even did our simple baseline u/s today. That makes me happy, I feel like we are in GREAT hands. He seems just as excited about the cycle and for us as we are.

I am going to continue the accupuncture. After researching on how much of a percentage it increases our chances I feel like it is best for us. It is a little expensive but I believe it will be worth it. I went for my first appointment last Friday and that afternoon I was spotting even on birth control. That is awesome because that is impossible for my body so I know it helps. I am going to go every Friday up to the day of transfer and then we are going to do the day of transfer (which our back to back treatments, before and after the transfer) That along is suppose to increase are chances by like 10%.

Well, I will keep everyone posted as we go on this journey. This is all new to us and is allot more involved then our last cycles, that is for sure. I am more scared this time around then the last and I think its because of the amount of money that has come from our pockets. I am hopefully thouhg, please keep us in your prayers.

Photo Albums

Okay, if I did this right you should be able to click on the picture and go to the photo album. The first album is a mixture of Spring and Jason/My Bday....

The second album is photos from Nick and Jen's wedding we went to in Illinois....