I have started a shop, right now I only have Christmas ornaments but soon to have more stuff....please check it out

Southern Charm

Sorry its been so long....

Hey everyone. I am so sorry it has been so long since my last post. Just been having so much going on I havent had time to write anything.

Loosing our baby was probably the hardest thing on both Jason and I and we have been coping. After the D&C, we decided to try a round of artificial insemination with the hopes of still being fertile and unfortunatly it did not take. That is when we decided it was time to take a break and breath before starting again. Going back to back for 1 1/2 years had worn on us emotionally and physically. It has been nice not to worry about Dr. apt or medicine.

Based on the outcome of the last IVF, we know IVF is going to be our way to go. The best thing about all the experience we have gone through is we KNOW we can get pregnant, we just might have to pay to get pregnant unless God has other plans for us, which we are open too.

We are doing great though, just been really busy with my new job and Jason completing his degree which by the way he made the Dean's list once again for the semester. I am so proud of him.

Well I better get back to work. I will try not to take months before I do another post. By the way, Happy late Thanksgiving to all!

1 yr anniversary

Hey everyone...I know its been a while since I posted but we were just getting past the emotional part. It has gotten allot easier. This month marks the one year anniverary that we have been with our reproductive specialist. The things we have learned, been through, and experience have been quite the book I wont write but hopeuflly I will not have to write our 2 year anniversary post next year.

We did decided after speaking with our RE that we are going to try an IUI cycle since our insurance will pay for 3 more. It didnt work for us before but why not give it a shot? I will keep everyone posted. We go to our baseline this Friday, if everything looks good (if I have heeled completely) then we will start the medications and get the ball rolling. Please keep us in your prayers as we start the infertility journey once again.

Branson Pictures

Our baby is in Good Hands

Just wanted to check in and let yall know the D&C went well this morning. No complications. Feeling really crampy and tired but glad its over. They said I should be healed physically within a few days but emotionally time will tell. I love my Dr for that, its not all about the medicine. He has gone through the same exact situation and you could tell it was hurting him watching us go through it. They are going to send the embryo off for testing, hopefully it will give us some answers.

I guess I woke up out of anesthesia historically crying. Probably due to all the emotions that build up but I had a lovely and unexpected visit when I was under. I was with my Grandma, sitting with me holding my hand and telling me everything was going to be okay and she would take care of our little one and how proud she was of us for being so strong and keeping our trust in the Lord. I joked with her in my dream and said she was just getting lonely and wanted a Great Grand to play with, we laughed (seeing that wonderful big smile of my Grandma's one time just made everything seem better). I told Jason about my visit and the joke and he laughed saying that's probably true. Being with her even is a dream really help with closure knowing that our baby was in good hands.

Sad Day

Yesterday went to what was suppose to be my graduation from my RE but ended up being a goodbye to this chapter in our life. Yesterday our Dr. was not able to find the heartbeat of our little one. The baby was still there but measured at around 9 weeks, which I would have been 9 weeks 6 days. For an hour he tried many different ways but it was just not there. So, sadly I write the passing of our first baby. Due to me still carrying I have to schedule a D&C. They are going to test the embryo to see if they can give us an answer as to "WHY". Just maybe, maybe, that will give us same closer. Jason and I both appreciate all your prayers and we know this is not mean we will not be able to have a family. Just means it will not start in March. We are still going to do what we need to do and we know that the Lord has a plan for us. We just have to trust him.

7 week checkup

Today was our 7 week ultrasound with the RE and everything was perfect. The baby doubled in size to 1CM and the heartbeat was strong. We were so excited and realize to see our little miracle still growing. The baby has been good to me, everyone asked me at the Dr. how I was feeling expecting the worst but to be honest I have had a great 7 weeks. I don't really get nauseated and if I do its not severe and I have yet to have had to hug the toilet. So, I am very happy that I have had a great first trimester so far but I am glad that I have had an U/s every week because with the lack of pregnancy symptoms, I would be going crazy not knowing if everything was okay if I wasn't able to get that report every week. I go to my OBGYN on Tuesday and then my next U/S will not be till we get back from vacation on the 10th. Hopefully I will be able to make it :)

Sneak Peak

Here is the first pic of our little baby! Its a amazing. This is a 6 week picture and its a little miracle. We did get to see the flutter of the heart beat. It was the most amazing thing ever. This is a miracle and again, thanks for everyone that was praying. We beat medical odds and we all know there is only one person that makes ANYTHING happen.

Missing her....

Its been about 5 months since my Grandma passed. I have been doing pretty good lately but the day I found out I was pregnent, it has gotten hard again. It was so hard, I wanted to dial her number, I wanted to call her up and tell her that Amanda and Jason were finally going to be real parents (she didnt consider Louie making us paretns...lol) She use to say, "you better treat your kids BETTER then you do that dog" I loved her, she knew how to make any situation a great situation.

I wanted to share the hapiness and joy with her because she had been praying with us, for us, through it all. She was there for us, when we needed a break I went and spent a weekend with her and we would just sit around the house and talk and talk. I love her so much and still miss her greatly. After not being able to call her I know that my baby has an amazing gaurdian angel, one that will watch over them and love them. I knew that she had a hand in picking out our perfect miracle baby. It made me feel so much better thinking about her watching over but oh how I wish I could go through this experience with her. I never though I would have to do it without her, she was suppose to live to 100. My kids were suppose to know her.

Okay, I am starting to cry at work so I just needed to share.

Not so fun....but now I feel pregnant

Well the last week I went from worrying that the test might be a false positive to I am so ready for my second trimester. This baby has made me tired, dizzy, and not hungry. I know I have to eat though so I make my self eat as much as possible but I have lost a couple of pounds. My Dr. said this is normal because I will be sensitive to certain foods, she told me to eat whatever I can and try small meals which it seems to help. I dont really get morning sickness, I get afternoon sickness, I left work early yesterday because I got clammy and dizzy and knew I needed to lay down. Migraines have been the worst. Tomorrwo I have an acupuncture appointment and I am going to see if she can help my daily headaches. I think they are the main reason I get so sick in the afternoon.

A week and a day we will do our first ultrasound and I am so counting the days. We have the first ultrasound picture, they printed a picture of the embryo in my uterus after they transfered it. Now I cant wait to add to it and make a pregancy book. Just cant wait. I hope baby is healthy and growing. Its hard not knowing right now. I worry and pray everyday. I bought a week by week book which has helped because my symptoms have matched up. It makes sense of stuff and is helping me allot. Also casting my fears to the Lord, that has been the biggest relief.

Its a MIRACLE!

Okay, due to a few emails regarding the results I guess it wasnt fair to countdown to testing and then not tell the results. We did get the results back yesterday and they were positive. I AM FINALLY PREGNANT!

Now, I do ask for family and friends that read the blog to keep to your self for the time being. At least till our first appointment on July 16th. There are just so many things that can go wrong from now to then like being a chemical pregnancy and I just want to be 100% certain before we tell the world, although we really really want to. I knew I had to update the blog because everyone knew we had tested yesterday and were wanting the results.

We are both so excited. I think I am still in shock, its hard to believe right now. I didnt listen to anything the Dr. said yesterday after congradulations so I will be calling him back today. I think when you have so many negative after negative, when you get a positive its like you are in fear of the next thing to go wrong. I am trying to stay positive but its hard because I have all these thoughts running in my head. I do believe it was the power of prayer, a miracle. Thanks for everyone that kept us in your prayers and I ask you continue to do so as we get throug this first trimester.

My smart husband made the Dean's List

I know allot of family members read this blog and just wanted to make you aware of just how great Jason is doing in College....this is an email he received after he made the Dean's list this year....

Dear Jason Coakley,

On behalf of the faculty and staff at Ashford University, congratulations on being named to the Dean's list for spring 2009. Your appointment to the Dean's List is published on the Ashford University website under the Academic Superstars link. (If you have submitted a request not to release or publish information about you, your name is not included.)

Your dedication and commitment to your studies make you a great role model for others to emulate. You and your family should feel quite proud of your accomplishment. All of us at Ashford University share in this pride as well and believe that students like you help make Ashford University the quality learning institution it is.

Again, congratulations for a job well done!

Sincerely,

Elizabeth Tice
Provost

Hope Gardina
Vice President, Academic Affairs

William C. Lowe
Dean, College of Arts and Sciences

Charles Minnick
Dean, College of Business and Professional Studies

Joen Rottler
Dean, College of Education

Tomorrow's the day......

Tomorrow is the day for the blood test to find out if we are pregnant or not. Hopefully this will be our miracle baby but if not we understand it is just not our time. We have talked and as far as infertility treatments go, we are going to take a break if this doesn't work. We don't right now have the funds for another IVF and we have 3 IUI"s left with insurance but we don't want to use them up when there are no new changes. I may go through with the laposcopic surgery before (pray for us) I start, hopefully, my new position in September. It would be a while with a 7 week training course that I could take some time off so I would like to do it before. That is hoping and wishing I get the new job.

We are planning a trip to Branson with my mom and dad in August. They are treating us and I am really excited. It will be good to get away for little bit from this and just breathe. We are excited just to be away from it all for a short while. Then when we are ready we will start the process again. I just feel mentally and physically we are spent.

All we can do now is leave it in God's hands...

Sorry I am just now updating everyone. I haven't been able to sign on my account lately. Saturday I had an u/s that my Dr. felt I was borderline ready. Sent me home for one more night of shots and then the appointment on Sunday was when the decision was made that it was time. Only one more shot to go and that was our trigger shot (shot that makes me ovulate). Tuesday morning went in to have my eggs harvested, I was put to sleep so I wasnt feeling to great that day. Just allot of cramping from the procedure but nothing not tolerable.

The u/s on Sunday showed from 7 follicles which I was told not all would have eggs. I was thinking I would have around 5 but turned out they only harvested 3. I was extremely upset at the beginning because I really was hoping we would have some to freeze but we were not going to. Then there was the fear all day that none of them were going to fertilize leaving us with no embryos. It was a hard and long wait but we got a call on Wed telling us that 2 of the 3 fertilized. So, right now we have two embryo's wildly growing in a tube as my mom puts it and tomorrow, Friday, we go to have them transferred.

Everyone please keep us in your prayers that this is it. Financially and emotionally, if this is once again a negative, we will have to take a break.

Just a little update....

Nothing new really. Just wanted to let everyone know where we are. I took my pills on Saturday that get everything started and tonight I start stimming with the shots. Not looking forward to that but it will all be worth it some day I hope. Wed is our first U/S to see what number of follicles we are working with. Hopefully that will bring us good news.

My mom and sister are staying with us right now. They came down with my dad, who is staying at my Grandma's house trying to get things sorted. So, mom and Alison have been with us going to the pool everyday....lol. No suprise there. Alisha, my middle sister, flies in tomorrow morning with her boyfriend and they will be staying with us also. Its a good thing Jason and I decided on the three bedroom instead of the two. It would be a tight squeeze....

Only downfall of my mother being here is she likes to eat out. I am suppose to be on a "no carb" and its been hard eating out. I try to get saleds and diet drinks but in doing so I have the biggest headache. I just have to suck it up though, like I said earlier, it will all be worth it one day :)

Day 1- IVF

Well, today was the beginning of one of the most important things of our lives. Today Jason and I went in for our baseline ultrasound to make sure everything is okay to start the stimulation with medication. We were given the go and I will start taking my medicine next week with our first u/s of the follicles on the 1oth. I am not looking forward to it because they warned me I will be extremely bloated due to the amount of follicles they are wanting me to produce but hey, the more we get the more we will have to freeze in case this cycle doesnt take so I will deal with a little bit of bloating to get me there.

I love my RE. We couldnt ask for a better one. Our previous cycles have all been pretty much controlled by the RN's but I am guessing the amount of money we are paying this cycle we get to have Mr. Lipari himself. He has done everything for us, he even did our simple baseline u/s today. That makes me happy, I feel like we are in GREAT hands. He seems just as excited about the cycle and for us as we are.

I am going to continue the accupuncture. After researching on how much of a percentage it increases our chances I feel like it is best for us. It is a little expensive but I believe it will be worth it. I went for my first appointment last Friday and that afternoon I was spotting even on birth control. That is awesome because that is impossible for my body so I know it helps. I am going to go every Friday up to the day of transfer and then we are going to do the day of transfer (which our back to back treatments, before and after the transfer) That along is suppose to increase are chances by like 10%.

Well, I will keep everyone posted as we go on this journey. This is all new to us and is allot more involved then our last cycles, that is for sure. I am more scared this time around then the last and I think its because of the amount of money that has come from our pockets. I am hopefully thouhg, please keep us in your prayers.

Photo Albums

Okay, if I did this right you should be able to click on the picture and go to the photo album. The first album is a mixture of Spring and Jason/My Bday....

The second album is photos from Nick and Jen's wedding we went to in Illinois....

Trial transfer/ Illinions Trip

Well, I will start with the trip to Illinois. It was relaxing to get away for a little bit and hang out with the family. There is something always so awesome about being around family having their support. We had a great time with mine and Jason's family but we were so ready to get home too. Its mixed emotions but we were talking on the way home and we can honestly say now that Jacksonville is home to us. We were so ready to see our Louie and sleep in our own bed but we love seeing our family too. If only we could move Jacksonville a little closer......it rained pretty much the whole time were in Illinois. We hit bad weather going up and then flying home we ran into bad weather which left the ride from ATL to JAx a little bumpy. I don't like those kind of plane rides. We made it home safely though thanks to God's good graces but too more rain which has not stopped since we have stepped foot off the plain. I guess we have a Nor'easter around the Bahamas which is causing us to have nasty rains and winds. I will post some pics of the family (my side) when I get a chance from the Wedding. I unfortunately didn't get any taking with Jason's fam, we will make a point to do that when we are back up in September.

Now to fertility, we get home and the anticipated calender is in the mail. I was mad though because we had a RN consultation on that Saturday, which obviously we missed because we were out of town. They also had me scheduled for today for a Saline Ultrasound (where they fill my uterine cavity with Saline water to make sure there are no fibroid or anything that would cause problems with the cycle) and they also did a trial embryo transfer to make sure they have the correct catheter for when the time comes. Let me tell you, your bladder has to be EXTREMELY full for them to do the transfer and it was the most uncomfortable thing I have ever done. ***TMI...I just new I was going to pee on him. Luckily, I didn't but he told me I would not be the first which was comforting to know. Good news, everything went great. He saw no concerns and says my uterine cavity is in great shape which was good to here. We then had our RN consultation where she want over ALL the medicine and shots I will be having to take and I mean ALL. It is crazy the amount of medicine I will be taking this cycle, it is $1200 worth and that is with insurance so that can give you an idea. I will be doing allot more shots then I did last time which I am not looking forward. She also explained the egg retrieval will be done with me put out which I would rather be sleeping, I just don't want the IV. Anyways, more to come, we have our first U/S on Tuesday. I will update everyone then...

Quick note for those that knew my sister was having surgery on Monday. She came out fine, she is extremely sore from the staples, she spent last night in the hospital. They took her catheter out this morning and if she can get up and walk and go to the potty, they said she can go home which she is excited about. They were able to save the ovary but the Dr. said that due to them cutting it a little bit, she cant guarantee that it will not turn to tissue and not work but she said the good news if she still has one perfectly good one and both her tubes so she didn't seem worried for Alison (which after everything I have gone through I PRAY she will never experience this)

A decision has been made....

Sorry its been a while since I last updated. Mainly because Jason and I had a decision to make and it was extremely hard to decide. The last post I made was regarding the surgery we discussed at our reevaluation. After further reviews of the chart, my RE said he believed that surgery would not help (it would be for my benefit, exploratory) but IVF will be our best option. I am not going to go on and on about all the benefits and downfalls but I will say that it is a MUCH higher percentage to do IVF (in-vitro fertilization). For those that don't know, it is a very expensive process that insurance doesn't pay a dime on. It can cost between $12k-$15k. Luckily for us we have an awesome RE and we were able to get a great price on it. So, just wanted to update everyone and let you know we have switched roles and will no longer be doing the same cycles we have been doing. The next month or so you will start to hear about our IVF cycle. Hopefully this will be it!!!! After some research on how to increase your chance with IVF, we learned of an acupuncture technique so in addition I will be undergoing acupuncture. Not sure about this because I have never done it but once we get back from IL we are meeting with her to discuss the options. The same day treatment (they do it before placing the embryo back) and then afterwards, that treatment along has proven to increase chances by around 14%. We shoulde be receiving our calender in the mail very soon. Hopefully we will get a orientation like we did with the IUI to explain the process because I am not sure what all it invovles.

Please continue to pray for Jason and I. For our emotion and physical well being as well, for those that have never gone through this process it is a roller coaster of emotions. One day you may be up (all the test are great) and then next day something went wrong. Just please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Love yall and for those readers in IL we will see you very very soon!

Louie ready for car ride....

I had to post this picture. My mom and dad got a new van and they have built in car seats. I joked with my mom and said "for what grandkids?" my dad reply "Louie" So, while they were here my sister put him in the car seat. It was the cutest thing. He just rode like he was suppose to be there. Just had to share....who needs a child when you have the cutest and sweetest furbaby ever!

For Jason's birthday weekend, we went to St. Augustine, FL (one of our favorite places to visit) with Brad and Holly. It was so much fun. We did a midnight Ghost Tour of the Island in a hearse. I will post the rest of the picture as soon as I get it uploaded. This is us that night waiting on the hearse...just thought Id share...

So irritated and upset....

I just dont understand. People suprise me everyday. Why do people do what they do? Why do they hurt people they love but are too blind to see it or do they know what they are doing? Just makes you realize maybe you really dont know some people. I just hate its hurting someone I love so much, it makes me hurt.

I need surgery....

Alright, sorry I haven't posted with the results of this cycle but I wanted to wait until we had our follow up with our RE last Thursday. The result was negative, again. Even with all the eggs. We just thought this was it and was devastated to find out, God once again has a different plan. Due to having 3 failed cycle, my RE wanted to meet and reevaluated what we were doing. He provided us with three options:

1) Continue to a new medicated cycle called mega-stem. We just got done with a mini-stem, the difference would be we would max out the dosage for the fertility medicine. He said that if I was overstimulated like I was this time, I could then transfer to a IVF cycle which is only about $4000 versus the $9000-$12000 of a regular IVF.

2) He believes that the reason for the failed cycle is an underlying issue. Based on my ultrasounds and the scar tissue he sees with NO past surgeries, he believes that I have endometriosis. So, he wants to do surgery and remove everything plus get a closer look of my ovaries and uteries. This was about a week recovery, it is laposcopic so he would go through my belly button and make 3 small incisions in my lower belly.

3) Next cycle we would just do an IVF, this is really not an option for us. Main reason we are not ready to give up, which is what I feel we would be doing by doing an IVF. The other reason is the cost. Our insurance will pay for 3 more medicated/IUI cycles and we would like to exhaust those first. Don't get me wrong, we still our paying allot out of pockets for copays and the medicine that the insurance doesn't pay for but we just aren't ready.

So, we have concluded that it would be best do go on with the surgery instead of waiting on another failed cycle and having only 2 more paid cycles afterwards. This way, we will have 3 more after the surgery. They are suppose to call today to schedule it and I will have to make arrangements with work. They would like to do it as soon as possible that way when I heal they can go directly into a new cycle due to the increased fertility rate. We are extremely lucky though because my RE, who I absolutely love, is one of the ONLY Dr. that can cut out the endometrosis versus the traditional burning. When you burn it off, it has the potential of returning versus the method he chooses. So, really excited about that.

Update from Friday....

So, Friday turned out to be a pretty good appointment. Found out that I went from 4 to 3 follicles which is good but they were only at like 15 cm which they want them around 18 cm. They wanted to avoid the risk of all the little ones I still had of growing so decided just to give my body two days to hopefully grow them on their own. So, Friday and Saturday we coasted and just hope they did what they were suppose to. Did my trigger shot last night and had our first IUI this morning. We are doing another IUI in the morning. April 20th will be the magically day to let us know if we have to go through all of this again. We hope this was it...

This will be the first Easter (EVER) without my Grandma. I have spent every Easter of my life at my Grandma's house eating her good cooking. This is hard, the day is slowly getting closer and every day is getting harder. I thought they said time heels all wombs....I just dont know if that is true. The little things just make start crying. We were in the Dr. office the other day and I was reading an article about family get togethers and I just started tearing up. Or how about the bad thunderstorms we had last week and we were watching the news and saw the huge lines of storms going through Brunswick. I said, without thinking, I better call Grandma and make sure she is okay. Then it hit me and I teared up. The tears just keeping coming and now that we are getting closer to Easter it is starting to become more real again. Luckily I dont have to be by myself. We are still going to head up to Grandma's house where my mom, dad, Ali, Aunt Rhonda and Uncle Jim will be. We plan on going to First Free Will Baptist like usual. Two things will be missing, my Grandma and her amazing Easter lunch. I remember how hard it was wtih Grandpa going through the first Holidays without but at least we still had Grandma. Now it is SO different. Grandma just know, I will always love you and hope you will always be proud of me!

Good news today....still to come

Just a quick update on the appointment today. So, GOOD news. They didn’t cancel my cycle today. Looks like I only had 4. One on my right, 12 cm, and three on my left, 10, 9, and 8. All the other ones stayed small and they aren't concerned about them. They want the ones I have to get larger so they are giving me an extra 50 tonight of the follitism. Then I go back on Friday to see how everything is. If I still just have the 4 and they are a little larger, then we will do our trigger that night and our IUI's on Sat and Sun. Keeping fingers crossed…we aren't in the clear yet. If any of the little ones grow too, then they will cancel our cycle. Errgg….I would like to be in my 2WW. I think that would be better then this.

Be back on Friday....hopefully with GREAT news!

WE JUST CANT WIN.....

Not a good appointment today. Last Thursday we had an appointment and had 12 follicles which is awesome for me considering I barely had one last time. We were all excited going to the ultrasound this morning because we thought this was it. We were on a new cycle, had tons of potential eggies, and were doinginjections. Due to the number of follicles I produces on Follitism alone this time, she didn't want me to start the injections until Sunday. Hoping that some would not continue to grow (by the way, I gave my self the shot last night....it took me 30 minutes to get the nerve up but I did it). Today we found out that all of them grew. Which I noticed I felt bloated and just uncomfortable and come to find out my ovaries are covered. Well, we were given two options to think about.

1) cancel the cycle. Way to many follicles to take the risk of going forward and getting 12 fertilized and then having to make the decision of selection rejection (aborting some of the eggs) which I cant imagine we would want to do that.

2) Turn this cycle into an IVF (In-vitro: take the eggs out, fertilize, and then implant) which is cheaper then the regular IVF cycle. When she said that I was thinking, hmmm...regular IVF is $10,000 so what is cheaper...ohh just $4000 at the day of the appointment. Now, please tell me where a 25 and 24 year old can come up with that in a few days. Just not going to happen.

So, really are only option is too cancel the cycle and just start a new one next month. Good thing about this is it want waist our insurance cycle...they allow us 6....we have only done 2, this would be 3. So we will still have 4 cycles left which is promising. I just am not ready to make that commitment...IVF is last case scenario and we will have to have some time to consider if we want to go through that process. So, as of right now. This is were we stand. We will let you know how Wed goes....we might get lucky and have only a few reach mature size....but I guess only time will tell.

Humpday....

Just a quick note, sitting at work. Haven't heard anything on the job yet. It would be so awesome to know something soon. We have decided to go to IL in May, May 12-17th to be exact. My friend Jennifer is getting married that weekend so not only do we get to spend time with our family we also get to go to her special event. I hope to buy the plane tickets today. If anyone is wanting to go somewhere, Airtran has one way tickets like $50 each way. Even though the plane ride back went up for us its still a ticket for under $200. Not too bad considering....

Oh and speaking of Weddings. I am so excited and ready for September. Just found out my best friend Lindsay and her new husband, when she gets here, will be making us a stop on their road trip honeymoon. How exciting?!!!! Cant wait....

And for those wondering about fertility treatments, I took the 10 Femera pills on Monday. We go tomorrow for an ultrasound to see if they have started any follicle growth. I believe this appointment they decide when I start my injections which speaking of injections I am a little nervous. I had a meeting with the RN on Monday and she explained all the risk. I was thinking she was just going to go over the multiple pregnancy risk but no she had to talk about the risk of the medicine all together. She said, no exercise light walking only. I guess my ovaries will way more then normal and by doing any jumping, running, etc....I could twist my ovaries which is emergency surgery. Then she explained the possibility of too much fluid in my abdomen which would make me have to also have an emergency IV to drain the fluid and the then the other one was hyperstimilating my ovaries which would mean the cycle would be cancelled and hope none of the cyst pop. So, when I left her office I was scared out of my mind. After doing a little research I believe she was just telling me worst case scenario and what to look for but she didn't phrase it that way and had me all worked up..lol.

Well, hope everyone is having a great humpday.

Ultrasound...

So, just wanted to do a quick fertility update. We had our baseline ultrasound on Monday and we were given the green light. Everything was quite and looked good from the last cycle. So, we start our new new cycle with the injections. This will be our first with the injections so I am a little nervous. We go next Monday for the nurses to explain what to expect and how to use them. I will be taking my Femera (fertility medicine that I have been taking all alone) this Saturday I believe and based on our ultrasound next Thursday, it will determine when we start the injections. If all goes well we will be testing around Easter weekend.

Nothing new really has been going on. I have allot on my plate at work with different activities I am in and interviewing for a new job tomorrow. It is an Enterprise Services Training Specialist, its the same job I did an internship last year with. It would be really great if I got that because I could get off these 12 hour Sundays. As we all know though, it will happen if its suppose to.

Well, I better get back to preparing...I am facilitating a workshop for Jason's focus group today. For all of you that didn't know, my husband is a constant go getter at work. He was chosen for a Leadership Focus group within his department to help him grow as a leader. Little did he know, I knew when his first workshop was because I was facilitating it. Too funny...we cant even get away from each other at work. :)

Hope everyone has a good rest of the week....will update as soon as I know more.

Beach Day

Hey everyone...just sitting at work on a early Sunday morning and thinking about what a lovely day our family had yesterday. Jason for some reason woke up really early and went and played basketball.....Louie and I decided to go on a walk and realized it was "beach day" weather. Jason and I packed up the car with Louie's toys and all our beach stuff and we headed to the wonderful Vilono beach, we go a little further down A1A so Louie can have room to play and did he play. It was our first beach day of the year and he just played and played. It was so fun to watch, especially when he barks and chases the waves. I will have to get that on video next time. I posted a cell picture below from the beach...just wanted to share. We both got a little sun burn but it felt so good to be out in the sun again. We then finished the night off at night church and some dinner. What a great day!!! With everything that has been going on, we haven't really been able to spend time together, it was nice to have family time again.

Hope everyone has a great week.

Where did February go?

Hello everyone. I lost someone that was very important to me on Feb 12th. She had a very short battle with breast cancer. As you all know my Grandma was diagnosed around Christmas time. Jason and I have been going every weekend to see her but there was something about the last time we went. The way she hugged us and told us she loved us when we left. When we got in the car, I told Jason, I have a feeling that will be the last time we will see her. Sure enough, sitting at work on Tuesday, I got a call that morning from my mom. She had taken a turn for the worst, she said her goodbyes that morning, gave my aunt her wedding ring, and told her not to worry if everyone didn't make. My mom and dad jumped on the first plane out of Bloomington and I picked them up at the airport and made it to Brunswick around 5:00 PM that day. My dad had not seen Grandma in about a month, last time he saw her she was up sitting in her chair, weak but the same Grandma we had always known...so much had changed in that short amount of time.

Grandma had the comfort of being in her own home but one thing she was not happy about it was being in a hospital bed instead of her own. She looked for any excuse as to why her bed would be better, which we cant blame her. Due to the fluid that was building up in her lungs though, the hospital bed was the only option. My dad, mom, and I got to spend a lovely evening with Grandma Tuesday night letting her know how much we love her and how much she means to us. Wed, she slept most of the day....all my Aunts were home by this time and my Great Uncle and Aunt not wanting to leave her side but she had other plans. She let us know that we were crowding her and she only wanted us in there one at a time, "got to love a woman that knows what she wants, even in a time like this" Shifts started to take place, first every 3 hours, then every 1, and by Thursday afternoon about every 15 minutes. Thursday morning my mom and I were going to eat with my cousin and something told me to tell Grandma I loved her. I kissed her on the forehead and said I love you, she opened her eyes and said "I love you too, hunny". That was one of the last things she said that day. She left us around 11:30 PM that night, right when we were all getting ready for night shift. She went peacefully with my Aunt Rhonda in the room and my Aunt Rose sleeping beside her in the bed.

The next couple of days were very very hard but we had the support of our big family and spoke of all the great memories we had. Once again we piled up in a house like true Henderson's and had a blast. We had to remember, this was Grandma's HOME GOING and it was a happy day. Valentine's day we had her visitation and it couldn't have been more prepared. My Grandma had picked her a beautiful red dress to wear and she wanted a quilt that my Nanny (her mother) had made draped on the casket, she decided this in early Jan. The quilt had red hearts all over it...she knew she would be going to see Grandpa on Valentine's Day. Per her request, we all wore Red and Pinks for the Home Going events. It was so hard to say Goodbye to her that last time. I didn't want to say Goodbye but I had too. I think I am still numb from everything, its so hard to know that she is gone from my life. She was such an amazing woman, I think the pastor said it best when he said there was no one else like Betty. She has touched everyone she had met in some great way and that is who she was. Even towards her last days she was worried about everyone else. Jason and I both wrote her letters to let her know how much she means to us....I also wrote the poem below:

My Grandma Henderson

My grandma is warm hugs and sweet memories.
She remembers all of my accomplishments and forgets all of my mistakes.

She is someone I can tell my secrets and worries to,

and she hopes and prays that all my dreams come true.

She always loves me, no matter what.
She can see past temper tantrums and bad moods,

and makes it clear that they don't affect how precious I am to her but will set me straight.

She says encouraging words and has a tender touch.
She is full of proud smiles and shows how living for the King of Lords can bring you happiness.

She is the one person in the world who loves me with all her heart, who remembers the child I was and cherishes the person I’ve become.

Grandma, I love you very much and want to say,

Thank You for being you!!!

Amanda Coakley “09

My Grandma was not only a Grandma, she was a best friend, neighbor, and my 1st Grade teacher. I wrote the poem to let her know, I did learn something in first grade....she got a kick out of that :)

Anyways, Feb is almost gone and I don't know where it went to. I am ready for March though to have a fresh start plus its time to start laying out at the beach and the pool. That always makes a girl feel good. The day after the funeral, I came down with Bronchitis and still battling. I have three days to get back to feeling like my old self so I can start March off right.

Fertility cycle did not go well this month, I didn't ovulate at all. They want to go more aggressive this cycle with more injections which I think is a good idea. I ha vent been responding very well on the medicine we have been trying. The more they up the medication though, the higher risk for multiples as they state but I know we will only get what the Lord thinks we can handle. We are taking a month off though to distress my body, if possible. We will start everything back up around mid March.

Thanks everyone for the cards and thoughts. It is always nice to have in a time of loss. Thanks again!

Just some recent information...

Sorry havent posted in a week or so. Its has been busy. My middle sister flew in on Wed to see my Grandma since she hasnt since Christmas. The last weekend Jason and I was there, Grandma was sleeping more but she was still going from her bed to her chair and even to the dinner table to eat. Since I didnt get off til 8:30 PM that night and Alisha had a long day of flying, we had chosen not to go up until Thursday morning. As we were sitting around playing rock band we got a scary call. My mom upset stating that Grandma was having a hard time breathing and she wanted us to go now. Luckily Jason and I have been living out of our suitcases, we grabbed what ever we had and packed the car and left within 10 minutes of the phone call. The whole way there I was crying because I just knew it would be my fault that my sister didnt get to say goodbye to Grandma. When we got there she was sound to sleep and come to find out she just had an anxiety attack which made it hard for her to breath. They got her calm down and she slept well.

The next morning, I noticed all the changes since the last time I was there which was less then 4 days ago. She now was short of breath just getting on a potty chair beside her bed, her appetite was little if any, and she was in a hospital bed. She had went from a Grandma that was up and moving to Grandma that would get out of breath just speaking with you and couldnt get out of bed. She is only awake in interverls but everytime she opened her eyes, we didnt want to miss anything and would have a "party" in her room. It was great to be able to spend time with my Aunts and my cousins who came down later that week. Alisha and I had a great time just holding her hand and feeding her ice chips when needed. I will say, it is a blessing to be able to know someone is going to be leaving you and being able to spend as much time with them as possible but I wouldnt wish this on anyone. Wathcing someone you love so much, slowly progress to what she calls her Graduation. We know we cant heal her but my only prayer is that she is not in any pain. She doesnt seem to be other then the dry mouth and not being able to breath very well. My mom and dad are coming in on Wed and I believe that is what my Grandma is holding on for. To say Goodbye to my dad.

Please continue to keep my Grandma in your prayers that she stays pain free and our family in your prayers as we all will have to deal with a hard loss.

As for the fertility, I did two IUI's on the 2nd and 3rd. We are scheduled for a blood test on the 18th to know if we will be blessed this month or not. They said that since I am not responding very well to the current fertility medicine, they may change our combination next month if this month is not a sucess. I really would like to tell my Grandma before she goes but I know that its not my time, its his time!

Photos at Grandma...

Below are just some photos I took with my camera over the weekend. The boys had to get roots out of the sewage pipes, took some priceless pictures of them. I love the photo of Jason and my cousin posing, I used one of my cameras awesome features where it just pulls out certain colors. I just really love the effect it gives it. The rest of the pictures are just shots of my Grandma's yard and porch and then of course included our sweet Furbaby! Enjoy!!!

My husband and Johnathon working hard for my Grandma.

Grandma's porch...one of the most peaceful places on earth.

View from her porch...

Her backyard

Our Louie....isnt he the cutest dog you have EVER seen!

Poor boy, he wanted to go out and play but it was too cold!

Comments....

I have had several emails from our friends and familes about not being able leave a comment on the blogs. I think I figured it out. When it ask for you to select profile, it is actually asking about you. If you don't have any of those options, I have okayed for comments to come from anonymous. So just choose anonymous. If you cant figure it out, feel free to keep emailing us...we love it either way :)

I have some pictures from the weekend that as soon as I download I will post. My lovely husband bought me a camera for Vday, I know a little early but my other camera was done. I had bought it when they first come out with digital...its a 3.2 mp to tell you how old...lol. We got a great deal on a Canon 880. It is so awesome and has so many features I don't know what to do with it. I LOVE IT!!!! I still want the Canan Rebel XT but hopefully sometime this year I will be able to find a good deal on one on EBay or Craigslist. I don't think I will be able to buy one brand new anytime soon.....

Just wanted to say hi and inform all how to post a comment. I will post those pictures as soon as I can.

Cute pics of our baby....

While Jason and I were visiting my Grandma this weekend my aunt took some photos of Louie. As we were packing him up to go Grandma saw his booties. I got him dressed up for the winter and she got the biggest kick out of it. I had to post some of the pictures....hope you enjoy :)

The Love Dare

For those of you that Jason has not told yet, he was saved on Jan 5th. This was such a blessing. We have found a great church and it really has helped up start our new journey in our marriage. The Love Dare is from the movie "FireProof", it comes out on video 1/27 I believe. I heard about it when it was out in the theaters but we have yet to see it. When I was at the Family Christian book store looking for a daily devotional for Jason and I...the lady in the store told me about the "Love Dare". It is a 40 day devotional experience to learn more about how to love your spouse based on the scriptures. Each day comes with a dare to help understand the scriptures and the meaning behind them.

Day 1: Patience

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
—Ephesians 4:2 NIV

Something Jason and I have very little of is patience. The first part of this dare is pretty simple. It talks about how our words often reflect the condition of our heart. It is better to walk away then to say what you are thinking at the time because it could be hurtful when in anger. So far, which we haven't gotten home from work yet, but we have done very well. There has been a little reminder here and there for the both of us but I feel we have done very well with this challenge today. Now, applying this as we go on with the other dares will probably be the most challenging. I might have to respond back to "patience" at one point of the 40 days.

Well, work is starting so I guess I better get to it. Since I am not sure what the Love Dare will hold for Jason and I...please keep us in your prayers as we start this new journey. Also that when it is the Lord's plan...to bless us with that baby we are working towards. :)

Dr. update....

We did the Dr. appointments today. Jason had gotten an eye infection from all of the kiddies over Christmas break and didn't know until we went to our annual eye exam last week. He was given perscription eye drops that hopefuly would clear it up and today he found out it hasn't. It has substained, so not getting worse but still there. So, he has to wait another week. He is irritated though because he is not able to wear his contacts, he has to wear only his glasses. He goes back next Wed...

I went to the Dr. this morning to make sure everything was a go to start a fresh new cycle and they gave us the OK!!!! Yeah....so I start on the shots and medicine and about a month later, we are hoping for a miracle. Please keep us in your prayers...

Oh and it is COLD down here. We are suppose to be in like the high 30's tomorrow....people are scared. Florida actually declared a State of Emergency because the temp will be so low. I found that funny...just had to share.

Also, yall are welcome to add the blog you can comment too if you want or email us. We would love to hear from yall.

Love yall!

Just a quick update...

Hey everyone. Sorry to those of you up in Illinois. I saw the weather ya'll were getting. Ewww...don't miss it. We have been cold though if it makes you feel better, we were in the 60's today and possibly in the 50s tomorrow. Suppose to be like that for the rest of the week. Burr....

Well we are back to GA this weekend. My dad flys into Jacksonville Friday night and we are going to pick him up and take him to Brunswick. He will be here for a week and my mom and sister, Alison, will be coming down on Wed thru Sun of next week. It will be good to see my dad and also to see Grandma again. I just have to say that my Grandma looks so good to be full of cancer. She is tired but she tries to keep the party going. The Dr. told her he thought she had around 2 months but as we all know with Cancer we can never know, hopefully she will prove them wrong and stick around as long as she wants. Grandma of course has planned for this day with the Lord for most of her life and she is at peace and ready when he is. It does make it a little easier knowing where she is going. Jason and I talked about it and we are going to try to make it up to Brunswick every weekend to spend as much time with her as we can.

As for our treatments, we do have a checkup tomorrow and if all is good I start back on my fertility medications. I will have to update yall on that later on this week.

Update on Grandma....

Unfortunately we received the worst news this morning. Grandma went to the Dr. this morning to get her test results and turns out that the cancer is all over. There is nothing they can do at this point but provide her with comfort. Hospice is suppose to be coming over today to start her on morphine to help with her pain level. The last few days have been a battle between keeping her pain level down with pain medicine which makes her sick on her stomach or having her blood pressure through the roof because of the pain. PLEASE continue to keep our family in your prayers....

Grandma is a very special and wonderful person. There are not many people that are put on this earth that have a way to make you feel so at peace with anything you are battling in your life at that point. It will be the hardest thing I have ever done to let her go but I know when she does, I will see her again and my Grandpa. Two of the most influential people in my life.

Jason and I are heading to Brunswick tonight when he gets off and we will be spending the weekend.

Last Jan around this time I was in the hospital beside Kylie's bed praying for her, luckily prayers were answered getting to keep her around longer but he had other plans for her legs. Now, this Jan, I have to be strong again for Grandma. Last year and this year puts in perspective just how easy and how quickly someone you love can be taken away.

Make sure you tell your love ones or show them everyday just how much you love them because you never know if that will be the last. Cherish EVERY MOMENT is what I have learned from both New Years. Jason and I love all you very much and even though we don't get to see you that often we just want you to know that.

Some pictures from the Holidays!

My grandma had a project for the boys....this clothesline has been there since my Grandpa built the house and my Grandpa wanted to make sure it wasn't going to move. It took 6 to start it and a couple of more to finish.

My dad loves being Uncle Bubba and they love him too. If you ever need babysitters for free, ask me. I will bring Jason and then dad for when he gets tired : )

The great grands enjoy one of my favorite childhood moments, philler crabs dug out of their home from the marsh. Except we were a little more creative as we would set up race tracks and see which one would win. When they are little older, we just might have to show them.

Dad, doing what he does best. Cooking some amazing Low Country Boil, this time it was for all 55 of us. Thanks Dad for all you do :)

Grandma of course loved on her Great Grands. This is one of the newest cousins, Jasmine. She was full of so much sugar...

Grandma with Jason's little man, cousin John Wayne. You can eat this little boy up. Look at that face....

Snapshot of the volleyball game. Jason's team is on the left. They one both matches, he was proud. We have some tall boys in my family. Uriah 6'10ish and Elijah 6'8 just to name a few. Girls didn't have a chance playing with these boys.

Jason and I, out for NYE!

These are just a few. If i get a chance I will post some more later.

A little introduction of 2009...

I know it has been a while since I have completed a Coakley Newsletter and I was asked the other day when the next one would be. We decided to start a blog for Jason and I both to use so we can keep others informed of things that are going on in our life. Unfortunately we get so busy here in a Florida, we don’t get to talk to our loved ones as much as we like. I have created a blog for us hopefully to help fill that gap, if we can remember to update it along our journey.

I hope everyone's Christmas was great and had a Happy New Year.

I will start off with some sad news that I received about a week before Christmas about my Grandma, my father's mother. She had gone to the Dr. due to a bruise that would not go away and after some test she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She has been ongoing test since then and we are not sure at this time what or if there will be any treatment. She had a PET scan done today and that, I believe, is the last of the test. We are hoping for some good news. This has been really hard on me because she lived across the street for most of my childhood. Seeing her at Christmas, so fragile and tired, made it all too real. We are heading up there this weekend to spend some time with her. As you know, my family is large. My grandma has 55 total with her children, grands and great grands. This Christmas we were able to have all 55 of us together and of course have the traditional low country boil for Christmas. This was the first time, EVER, we were all able to be together at one time. The boys of course played volleyball, gnats and all. Jason complained for weeks about his bites but being the competitive person he is, he just couldn't say no.

It was great getting to see those I have not seen in a long time and spend time with their new additions. We are hoping this is the start of an annual get together. In June we had planned to rent a log cabin in Tennessee that would be able to house all of us but the Lord had a different plan for us and did not want us to wait that long. We just got our reunion a little bit sooner. Please, keep my Grandma and my family in your prayers as we continue on the new path that has been created for us. We know we have no control and that the Lord has a plan for each and every one of us, we just have to believe that the Lord has a reason for all and will help us through it.

Now, to Jason and I. As most of you know for about a year now we have been trying to add an addition to our family of three, we can't forget Louie, but I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Disease (PCOD) back in I believe July. Since then we tried fertility medication alone but it was not working for me. We were referred to an Reproductive Specialist back in September and after a serious of test and findings, I was put on a many different medications and I guess the combination was just right because last month I finally responded to the fertility medications. Our Dr. believed that to increase our chances, Jason also has some fertility issues, it would be better for us to do IUI, Intra-uterine insemination. Last month was our first and unfortunately it was negative.

Now, we are attempting round two with this new combination and we are just giving you another reason to include us to your prayer list. We know when it is our time, we will be blessed and until then we will do all we can to get there. With all the Dr. appointments and medications, it has been expensive but we know in the long run it will be worth. Along with PCOD comes other problems which our Dr. found out that I am hypothyroid and IR (Insulin Resistance). Both of these conditions make me a high risk for gestational diabetes and also miscarriages. If or when we do get pregnant, we will just have completed one of many steps.

So, as you can see we have plenty of things to blog about as we start 2009. We know that many people want to know when and what is going on and we thought this would be the best way. Of course, this doesn't mean we don't want to talk to you on the phone but we feel this will help fill in the gap between the phone conversations!

We hope all are doing well and we would love to hear from you. We love you very much and miss you and know that you are welcome to take advantage of us living in Florida anytime. We love the company and so does Louie.