Lack of sleep.....

but so worth it. My sweet little ones had their monthly check up and Madison weighs 5 lb 10 oz and Jackson weighs 6lb 11oz. Cant believe they are about the size of a normal newborn. My son was out of preemies about a week ago but my little girl is still so tiny and has been able to still wear her preemies clothes but tonight I put on one of her jumpers and it is too short, she was not even able to straighten her legs. Crazy just how quickly they grow so now she is wearing newborns. It was sad, my little babies are already getting so big.

I am new on this preemie thing but since they were born 2 months early they have a chronological birthday (day they were born) and an adjusted age (based on due date). Per Dr. the adjusted age is used when it comes to development but I feel like my babies are not 2 months behind. I feel they are no different then any other newborn. They are already so alert, starting to hold their head up so well, and etc. I guess I will start noticing the difference a little later but its amazing to watch them start to notice things.

As for the night time, they are still on every 3 hr feeding so I dont get much sleep. I am also breastfeeding both (pumping more then breast because they are not that great at it at this point) but by the time I get them changed and fed, I have about an hour to fall asleep and be back up for the next round. My mom and sister are currently staying with me and helping and between them and my husband they are able to take turns. I however had to be up for each one but occasionally I will sleep through one. Cant wait till they are able to sleep longer then the 2 hours but they are suppose to be around 8lbs before that happens. The way they are gaining weight though it shouldnt be too much longer.

To top off our crazy emotional roller coaster of a year, my fatherinlaw passed away last night after a battle with cancer. My poor husband and his family have lost his sister and now his father. He was blessed with twins this year and he feels God took away and giveth. His sister is greatly missed and his father will be as well. They are both painless in heaven and that is a blessing. Looking forward to 2012, a fresh year with many blessing with our little ones. So happy to know the guardian angles in heaven watching over our little ones. RIP John and Jenny.

Where I have been.....

I am so sorry to just now get an update about what has been going on. For those not aware, I was admitted to the hospital November 1st due to my blood pressure. I was diagnosed with Pre clampsia. Every day was a touch and go situation but on 11/7/11 due to spike in my blood pressure they performed an emergency c-section. The only cure for preeclampsia is delivery. Our little miracles: Madison Lynn at 12:52 PM weighing 3 lb 8oz and Jackson Thomas was born at 12:53 PM weighing 4 lb 9oz. I was put on magnesium drip for 24 hrs to get my blood pressure down and unfortunately this kept me from being able to see my babies till I was off. 26 hours later, I was able to see my babies and learned Madison was a little trooper and only needed a little oxygen and some IV fluids which she was completely off within a few days. Jackson had a little more trouble and did require a c-pap for several days but thanks to prayers he was taken off on 11/10/11 and then was put down to oxygen and after a little over a week he was finally off all of it.

We were able to hold our baby Madison by day 3, she was so tiny. She dropped down to 3lb 2 oz. Sadly it was a while before we were able to hold Jackson but after about a week, finally! They were in closed beds for a while and emotionally that was hard because all you could do was go in and look through glass at your babies. Not much hands on and not much snuggling which I needed.

The biggest obstacle was feeding. Due to being 2 months premature they had not acquired the suck, swallow, breath technique and we just had to work with them and work with them. At the beginning we could barely get them to take 2cc once a day but then after a little over a week they both started eating well.

Madison was the first to have her feeding tube removed and went home a few days later. Jackson feeding tube was removed the next day but he staying longer because he was having heart drops. She came home on Nov 28th and he came home on Dec 2nd. almost 4 weeks in the NICU.

We do not get much sleep. Madison came home under 4lb and Jackson under 5lb so they have to eat every 3 hours around the clock. I am attempting breast feeding so not much sleep in between. We are loving every minute of it and love watching them continue to grow. They have gotten so big since the NICU (well as big as a preemie should be). We just let the Dr this morning and Madison weighed 4 lb 12 oz and is 18 in long. Jackson is 4lb 14 oz and 19 in long. Everything looked good for both. They have started staying awake a little more with feeds and already starting with facial expressions.

Poor babies a few days old....
Madison

Jackson

Sweet tiny babies now....

32 weeks

How Far Along: 32 weeks and 2 days

Dr apt updates: high risk Dr did measurement and growth u/s last week and everything looked great. They are no longer measuring my cervix because at this point it would be safe to deliver. At this point, I now just stay on bedrest and wait for contractions or any other complications then it will be time. If nothing, I am scheduled for 37 weeks.

Size of Baby: Thursday ultrasound Baby A (Madison) measured 3 LB 10 OZ and Baby B (Jackson) measured 4 LB 5 OZ. They both looked good and their fluids are great.

Belly Picture:

They were able to get Jackson's 3D photo a couple of weeks ago and finally was able to get Madisons.....

Weight Gain: still only around 8 lbs of weight gain at this point

Sleep: I have learned that sleeping propped up is more comfortable then laying flat on my side. It has seemed to help get more then an hr at a time.

Milestones: I have made it to 32 weeks which means I can deliver at the hospital I wanted to (if less then 32 weeks I would have to deliver at the other hospital due to NICU)


What I'm Looking Forward to: feeling comfortable again

Week 30 and 31

How Far Along:  today 31 weeks and 3 days

Size of Baby: babies are getting measured on Thursday

Picture:

30 weeks

31 weeks

Weight Gain:  8 pounds last week, I have been gaining about 2 pounds a week now

Sleep:  I take naps between getting comfortable and going to pee

Milestones: getting to 34 weeks (last Dr apt my cervix was very thin)

Movement:  movement is all the time and very strong, its such an amazing experience

Food Cravings: milk but I have noticed the last few months my appetite has really picked up

What I'm Looking Forward to: holding my sweet babies

Bedrest and good news :)

Okay, bedrest is no fun.  It is so boring and my best advise for anyone on it you just have to find stuff to do.  My first project was the bookcase for the nursery.  This was from my Grandma's house who passed away a few years ago. I felt it would be important to be in their room but it was just tan.  So, I got creative.....

 

When I was told by the Dr that I was on permentant bed rest till the babies are here. I decide I have to find stuff to do. I was originally going to order the letters to put above their crib but instead I bought them and will decorate them.  They are not done yet but will post when I am complete.  I also decided just to do random canvas painting for the nursery.  Here is one I just completed....

Now for the good news.  

***As my last post stated, I had to do the 24 hr urine test for pre clampsia.  I am happy to say I passed although they are still going to watch my blood pressure because it still is high. 

***I also had my gestational diabetes test done the same day, well I PASSED! This was a big milestone for me because with PCOS and being insulin resistance, my Dr didnt expect me to pass.  I am really excited about that.  

***Last, the FFN test I took on Monday came back negative.  

YEAH!  Just felt good for once in the last month to have good news.  Not having to worry about gestational diabetes or pre clampsia is a blessing.  Now hopefully my cervix will stay and Monday I will have more good news.

29 weeks

After being released from the hospital I have had several apt.  The Monday afterwards, Madison's fluids has sustained from the IV fluids and my cervix looked good so they allowed me to go back to work.  Went to work Tuesday through half a day on Thursday when I had my check up at the high risk.  My cervix had made quite the change during this time period and I was officially put on permanent bedrest.  I also had a high blood pressure so I had to complete a 24 hr urine collection over the weekend which sucked.  I couldnt believe at 27 weeks I was already on bedrest but what ever is best for the babies. 

Jason left that weekend to go see his Dad and I took it pretty easy. I will say I did go do a little bit of shopping and found some cute outfits for the babies. Today they wanted to do a FFN to check if I am at risk of labor in the next two weeks. My cervix is a little longer then 1 (cm I think) but when I was contracting, it was less then 1.  Cervix is still close however which is a good sign.  I had to do the sugar test today and I should know the results for pre-clampsia test tomorrow.  So, now just waiting on test results. 



How Far Along: 29 weeks and 1 day  

Size of Baby: last week Jackson weighed 2lb 14 oz and Madison was 2lb 4 oz.....yes she is smaller then him but they said could be margin of error due to her low fluids or its natural for male to be larger then female

Picture:  not one this week

Weight Gain:  about 6 pounds

Sleep: ugh.....I rest but not sleep. I can not get comfortable at all

Milestones: 3rd trimester

Movement:  my belly is constantly jumping and they have started what I think rolling and its noticeable

Symptoms: swelling of the hands, back aches, braxton hicks, and lots of pressure

Food Cravings: nothing particular, my appetite is allot larger now

What I'm Looking Forward to: babies to be here and be healthy :)

28 weeks

Jackson's sweet face, he was the only one wanting to participate this morning during the ultrasound and the nurse surprised me by taking a 3D shot of him. I thought it was so awesome.  Look at those cheeks.

So, have had an eventful last couple of days.  Last post I mentioned the shortening of my cervix and I had an u/s scheduled for Thursday.  (Sept 29)   During the ultrasound they found my cervix had not changed which was good because that means it wasnt actively thinning.  However, when they looked at Madison's fluid they saw that hers was about half of what Jackson's was.  Her bloodflow to umbilical cord was high.  They then decided to monitor me for 30 min and see how her heartrate was.  During the monitoring I had a contraction and her heart rate dropped.  With the combination of her heart rate dropping and her having low fluids, they sent me straight to the hospital where I stayed for 24 hrs.  During that time they had me on IV fluids to see if they would be able to increase her fluids and also had me on a monitor the whole stay to see if her heart dropped during any other contractions.

 They had me so scared though because my OB came in and started discussing c-section procedures with me and NICU and etc.  They made me fast from the time I got there for about 6 hrs incase I had to have the c-section.  It was something I didnt even want to think about at only 28 weeks.  They started me on steroids to help strengthening the babies lungs in case they come early. 

After a night in the hospital on fluids,  her fluid did go up a little bit. Enough they felt okay with sending me home.  This morning had a follow up appointment and her fluids have stayed the same but her umbilical flow looks good.  I go back on Thursday for a growth measurement and hopefully she is growing at the rate she should.  One of the fears of low amniotic fluid is not enough room for the baby to grow.  So, now I just wait. If they are unable to keep her with a steady amount of fluid, I may be spending the rest of my pregnancy in a hospital bed.  I just pray this is no the case. 

Eventful transition to 3rd Trimester

Well, I will do the Dr update first.  Wed, 9/ 21st I started feeling very uncomfortable at work. Shortning of breath and few back to back contractions.  I called my Dr and he said to come in labor and delivery right away. I was scared to death. Didnt know what to think after the apt I had on Monday.  My husband had been home sick, I tried to call him the whole way to the hospital and couldnt reach him.  Finally, a friend of ours was able to wake him up (yes, he will sleep through anything) and he was on his way.  They put the monitor on the babies, both heart beats were strong and steady.  They did the FFN and it was negative. They did find out I had a UTI, gave me medicine and sent me home with rest.

Went to high risk appointment this morning to see if any change from last Monday and my cervix has continued funneling (opening) and now cervix has shortened.  They monitored for 30 minutes to see if I was contracting, luckily I was not. They sent me home with strict bedrest until Thursday. I go back on Thursday and hopefully no change in cervix or if there is change its due to my cervix getting longer again.  Only time will tell. For now, it looks like allot of laying down and soreness (from laying down) is here. Hopefully, this is temp.  I cant imagine having bedrest from here on out but its about the babies and what they need at this point.

How Far Along: 27 weeks and 2 days 

Size of Baby: both weighing over 2 pounds a piece

Picture:  not one this week

Weight Gain: have not weighed yet this week, OB apt on Thursday 

Sleep: still not getting much, the twins like to play soccer at about 1:00 AM for hours

Milestones: 3rd trimester

Movement: twins are making their

Symptoms: swelling of the hands, back aches, braxton hicks, and lots of pressure

Food Cravings: milk

What I'm Looking Forward to: feeling comfortable again

Last belly photo of 2nd trimester......

compared to 16 weeks, my first belly photo....

Photos just dont show the growth nor how much more solid my belly has gotten.  Crazy the growing really starts the 3rd trimester...how big will I get? :)

26 weeks

He has his daddy's toes :)

How Far Along: 26 weeks and 2 days

Size of Baby: Madison (baby A) measured a little less then 2 pounds and Jackson (baby B) measured over 2 pounds

Picture: 
Baby A (Madison): she found her feet :)

Baby B (Jackson):

Weight Gain: 4 pounds (all babies)

Belly: belly gets bigger everynight

Sleep: breathing has been difficult and heartburn...not to mention having to pee every 45 minutes so I get it when I can get it

Milestones: we are pass the point, per books, where they would be able to survive if born today

Movement: these babies are moving all the time and the fun is now hurt, although I love feeling them knowing they are there

Symptoms: I know I am not officially in 3rd trimester till next week but I think I can say with twins, I am in my 3rd trimester, all the horribles of 1st are coming back

Food Cravings: extremely cold APPLE JUICE

Gender: BOY AND GIRL found out July 18, 2011

Names: Madison Lynn and Jackson Thomas

What I'm Looking Forward to: feeling ready for the babies, have a while to go

Dr updates: had high risk apt yesterday and didnt get the best of news. My cervix has started opening at the top. Luckily the length of my cervix has not changed. I go next Monday for a test to determine if I am at high risk of pre term labor and then they will decide on what my next steps are.

Also, Madison placenta fluids are low. They arent sure why and are going to monitor. If you look at the ultrasound pics, you can see the difference in fluid levels. Really concerned about this but Dr said its more just something to watch at this point.

Labor and Delivery Tour

So, yesterday hubby and I did the tour of where are little bundles of joys will enter the world. It is a brand new hospital so everything is brand new and sparkly.  They have no visiting hours, so family can come and go all night. They have maternity suites which are similar to a hotel suite and have flat screens, DVR, fridge, bed for husband and etc.  Very very nice and very excited we are getting to deliver there.

Babies stay in the room with us the whole time, unless they have to go to NICU of course which I am nervous about because they are twins and may came early.  If they go to NICU and because I am having a c-section, it will be 12 hours at the earliest I will get to see them. I am so upset about this.  Luckily, Jason will get to go in within an hour after they get them set up but I dont like I have to wait so long.  I am just going to keep praying we will not have to worry about the NICU. 

Another surprise, even with a c-section, you are on track to be discharged at 48 hours.  I thought with c-section it was longer but hey, less time in the hospital the better. 

So, as you can see we learned allot yesterday.  Made everything so real and so close.  I havent been feeling the greatest this week, I have a very heavy feeling and lots of pressure.  I called my OB and she said since I wasnt having any contractions or fluids, I should be able to wait till my high risk apt on Monday but to take it easy for the rest of the week.  She thinks the babies have just changed positions and have made it more uncomfortable but doesnt feel concerned. However, if I get any heavy fluid or contractions, I am to come to the office right away.  Guess we will see how the rest of the week goes. 

Just for your information.... I AM NOT READY nor want to be on bedrest already. I am hoping the Dr is right and they have just changed positions. I am starting to realize how short my time may be.  We are now setting up appointments with daycares and pediatricians.  Nursery is not even close to being done...just feel like so much to do and not enough time!

Week 23

How Far Along: 23 weeks and 5 days


Size of Baby:  they are both over a pound and about a foot long, most books refer to them as a little baby doll

Picture:  no picture for this week

Weight Gain: had OB apt and I am officially at my start weight, not a pound more

Belly:  slowed down on growing

Sleep: some nights I can fall asleep as soon as I hit my pillow and sleep almost through the ngiht before I have to go pee and then other nights, I will toss and turn and get up and pee about 8 times.  Havent found out how to sleep well everynight and I know it doesnt exist :(

Milestones: now feeling both babies kick, poor Madison placenta was in front of her and she just couldnt kick hard enough but it was scaring me. 

Movement:  wow, my babies are very active and feel them all the time.  My OB said she was glad the high risk Dr was doing my measurements.  haha.

Symptoms:  still heartburn, I have to sleep propt up.  Also starting to feel very heavy in the afternoon from the weight of belly. 

Food Cravings: I am thirsty all the time and nothing seems to quinch the thirst.  No food really....

Gender: BOY AND GIRL found out July 18, 2011 

Names: Madison Lynn and Jackson Thomas

What I'm Looking Forward to: getting nursery completed, husband just finished painting and starting on the cribs.

Dr updates: OB apt went well, belly measured where it should, gained weight since last apt, and babies heartbeats look good. Dont have another apt until Sept 19 with high risk.

22 weeks

How Far Along: 22 weeks today



Size of Baby: at 21 weeks and 4 days ultrasound, babies weighed 1 pound and few ounces each

Picture:

Weight Gain: I still have not gained any weight, however, I am officially back at my start weight.

Belly: cant see my feet anymore :(

Sleep: I have bronchitis...so not only hard to get comfortable but between coughing and peeing, I pretty much just nap through the night.

Milestones: Jason felt the babies kick at 21 weeks for the first time.

Movement: feel them all the time now, however Jackson allot more but found out at apt its because Madison placenta is in front of her so she has to kick allot harder.

Symptoms: HEARTBURN!!! ugh...its so bad and tums just doesn't do the trick.

Food Cravings: no big cravings right now but much heavier appetite.

Gender: BOY AND GIRL found out July 18, 2011

What I'm Looking Forward to: finishing our nursery and having everything ready

Dr updates: high risk apt last week went really well. Due to babies being IVF babies, they did echogram on each baby. Its crazy how much they can determine on those ultrasound machines. Anyways, both babies hearts looked great and they are both measuring where they need to be. My cervix is still very high and closed, dont have to be seen back for 4 more weeks. :)

Illinois Baby Shower

Last week we took the last trip to Illinois to see our family before the twins are here. Our loved ones through us an amazing baby shower and we got so much needed stuff. We couldnt ask for better friends and family. I have posted the photos from the shower. We made it home on Wednesday in time for Thursday's high risk appointments and everything checked out great. I was a little worried because it takes us 15 hrs by car to get there and 15 hrs back. It was a long trip! Especially while I was there I started getting sick which what I later found out was bronchitis. I feel allot better now but we are using this Sunday (first Sunday off and nothing to do) to just veg and watch movies. MUCH NEEDED!!!!

Enjoy photos....

wow, 20 weeks!!!

I will do my 20 week post like usual when I get a chance but got exciting news this morning. If you remember I failed my 1 hr glucose test a week ago so I had to go for the long glucose test with fasting (which by the way, for pregnant woman it is not even fair game) Long story short, I didnt make it without passing out and finished my test in hospital bed. Good thing I got through it and Dr called this morning and told me I passed all 4 draws! YEAHHHH!!!! No gestational diabetes for me! well for now of course, I will have to do the 1 hr again at 28 weeks and hopefully get the same results except this time I hope I pass the 1 hr first. This is huge for me though becasue with PCOS about 70% get gestational diabetes. I do have to remember though, most woman GD doesnt come on till 24 weeks so still have a hump to get pass. For now though, GOOD NEWS!!!!

As for other things, I think Jason and I finally have decided on names. We have had our boy name picked out for years...my mothers maiden name is Jackson and she has wanted a grandson named Jackson. We both really liked the name and it goes well with hubby's middle name Thomas so JACKSON THOMAS it is...now when we found out other twin was a girl, we had a few names in mind but just havent been able to decide. We have always liked Jadyn but it has become very popular and I really wanted something unique but southern bell. So we threw around Emma, also very common and Jordan. My sister and I was talking about names and she brought up Addison which would give our girl my initials but found Madison which is very unique....I thought how perfect because it ends in SON like Jason and Jackson (which have you notice a theme, maybe the third child will have something from me) and we had decided her middle name should be Lynn due to family name on Jason's side plus his sister middle name....So

Madison Lynn it is which I love how Maddie Lynn sounds so more then likely would be what we end up calling her.

So, we are 99% sure we will be naming our twins:

Jackson Thomas and Madison Lynn!!

19 weeks

How Far Along: 19 weeks and 3 days

Size of Baby: "Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato" http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-pregnancy-19-weeks_1108.bc

Picture: no baby pictures but here is a horrible belly pic....sorry I decided to take it this morning while I was getting ready. I am going to start forcing my self to take them when my husband gets home at night....

Weight Gain: Dr apt last week I am still -6. No weight gain and this was a discussion this time. She said to start eating more meals a day...so we will see when I go back.

Belly: getting big although I dont feel that big for almost 20 weeks with twins :)

Sleep: a thing in the past... swimming before bedtime has helped me get more comfortable. its getting up every 2 hours to pee that keeps me up.

Milestones: half way mark reached for 38 weeks (twins full term)

Movement: still no strong movement which kinda worries me but the DR said everyone is different

Symptoms: dizzy, tired all the time, and new thing...sitting down and feeling fine but standing up and feel like I am going to wet my pants

Food Cravings: the most horrible craving I can have....fountain COKE! I know, I know, I have limited myself to one a day

Gender: BOY AND GIRL found out July 18, 2011

What I'm Looking Forward to: strong kicks from both babies so I know they are there and moving

Dr updates: Due to PCOS, they recommened 2 glucose test. Well, I did my first one last Friday and unfortunately I failed it. I now have to do the 3 hr glucose test which I am doing on Monday. I pray I pass that one. She says often people will fail the first and pass the second....and I know, drinking sodas is not going to help. So I have two reasons to cut it out, caffiene and GD.

Posted by Coakley's Journey at 2:00 PM

Overwhelming....

Alright for those expecting, have you registered yet?

Wow, so overwhelming with all the stuff out there and having to make so many choices. If its your first child you are kinda blind in knowing what is really needed and what is fluff. I think if I was having one it wouldnt be as hard but having two and two different genders, it has been difficult. I dont want to have neutral everything because I want my girl to be a girly and my son to be a boy so of course I registered for allot of the same thing just one blue and one pink. Our place is going to look so cliche...

For those breastfeeding, I have had a hard time deciding on which pump to invest in...I did find this website and it helped me make a decission so thought I would share. Looks like I am going to go with Ameda over Medela due to the sanitary reasons. Reviews look to be the same for both. If you have advise, feel free to leave it.

I know some may be wondering why I registered so early but due to traveling restrictions soon, my family lives in IL and wanted to have a baby shower for me. So I am having a baby shower on Aug 13th and will only be 21 weeks...oh well. I am excited to start getting things done and ready, maybe I wont feel so overwhelmed.

Other things I have done to prepare....
*cleaning the husband office/University of Illinois room out which will be the nursery. We dont have much storage being in a condo so it has not been fun plus having to get rid of allot.
*started this week we have ripped up all carpet in the house and going back with hard wood. Really excited about this because I know how nasty carpet can get and just makes me feel better knowing we will be breathing cleaner air and of course easier to clean stains up is a plus.

17 weeks

How Far Along: 17 weeks and 2 days

Size of Baby: websites say about the size of a onion....ultrasound they both were at 7 ounces.

Picture: my baby girl all comfy....

Jackson's profile and she is snuggled right behind him....this was the best profile we could get to him because she was always in the shot. Love it though!

Weight Gain: 1 pound up this week but still 7 pounds under start weight

Belly: SORE!

Sleep: some nights can sleep well but for most part having trouble getting comfortable.

Milestones: high risk ultrasound was done and heart, brian, bones, kidney and etc are all developing right...makes you feel good

Movement: still no definite but lots of flutters

Symptoms: short of breath and dizzy

Food Cravings: nothing this week

Gender: BOY AND GIRL found out July 18, 2011

What I'm Looking Forward to: knowing the unknown like what bedrest is going to look like

We are having......

yes, its a boy and a girl. If I get a chance I will upload a copy of the photos but there is no doubt. Both of them legs open and clearly one was a female and the other a male. We are so excited, its perfect.

Ultrasound went well, it was a long appointment with our high risk Dr. He counted the toes, fingers, checked brain, spinal, arms, legs and so forth. Heart was looked at and both looked perfect. As of right now we have nothing to be concerned about. They both weigh about 7 ounces and measuring about 7 weeks and 3 days which si about 2 days ahead of schedule.

Is today the day?

Today we have our appointment with high risk Dr at 12:45 eastern time. We were told they should be able to tell us the genders today. We are so excited but I am nervous too because of so many that have had the hopes and then the babies dont coroperate. I hope we dont have that problem. I will let yo know.....only about 3 hours to go.

TTC Journey added.....

Hello to my followers. Just wanted to make my new followers or old that are unware of our infertility journey that I finally sat down and created a TTC timeline page on blog. YOu should see towards the top a new tab. Please feel free to ask any questions, I did keep it general not listing any specific meds but you get the idea of the long road we have taken to finally be expecting our two bundles of joy!

comments....

I am still having so much trouble leaving comments on same peoples blogs. I have noticed that if it has the pop up comment box, it tends to automatically choose my blog. If you go to settings and comments and choose to have pop up box for comments, this may help. I did change the setting on my blog so if anyone had problems, hopefully that helped. Let me know if it doesnt or makes it harder.

16 Weeks

How Far Along: 16 weeks today...going into my 5th month...crazy!

Size of Baby: both babies are the size of an avocado ...4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces

Picture: I know yall have been asking for belly shot, my husband is out of town so sorry for the poor cell phone quality!






Weight Gain: still down from starter weight, currently I have lost 7 pounds.

Belly: belly is taking form, still just feel fat some days

Stretch Marks: no new ones

Sleep: SUCKS! I can not get comfortable and I wake up with my belly so sore in the morning

Milestones: both babies passed their nuchal test and they passed the down syndrome test...yeah!

Movement: feeling flutters

Symptoms: nausea has gotten better, just kinda comes and goes now. I am getting more tired and out of breath

Food Cravings: peach milkshake from Chickfila

Gender: 7 more days....cant wait!

What I'm Looking Forward to: feeling the movement and knowing sex

Doctor APT: I had been having slight discharge and same cramping, I was scared because I had just taken the long trip to and from Illinois. She did u/s and both babies hearts were 145 BPM which is normal and they were growing fine. She did culture to find out I have bacterial vaginosis which I guess is common in pregnant women due to hormones but you have to catch it or can cause preterm labor. I am on medicine for a week and then its suppose to be gone but may come back. yeah for me.....

Do you believe.....

Not going to do my normal weekly post. I missed the 14th week because on Monday, June 27th my husband received the most unexpected call. His brother advised that their sweet sister, Jennifer, had passed away. She had been struggling for some time and her "big" heart just couldnt take it anymore. Of course, the Dr would not allow me to fly so we packed up the clothes and hit the road on a 16 hr car trip to Illinois. It was a long and difficult trip. My sister-in-law was the sweetest, kindest, and most innocent person I had ever met. She was so excited that she was going to have two nieces or nephews and we were so excited that they were going to have her as an aunt. It was a very hard week. We got through it but the pain is still not gone. There is now a void in our life without hearing her laugh or seeing her sweet smile. Not to mention her bigger then life hugs she would give you like she hasnt seen you in years. Jenny was always the first one at the hospital anytime someone she loved had a baby and she had to have a picture taken holding the new bundle of joy. We will never have that picture and it hurts. We know though she is now our children's guardian angel and we couldnt have asked for a better one. We know she was greated into heaven by our angel baby. Jenny, you will be missed and we love you very much.

To the title of my post, do you believe that when one person leaves another enters? My father-in-law was diagnosed with Esophagus cancer in December and he is not doing very well. My husband is convinced he is having twins because he is going to loose his dad and sister in the same year. At first, I didnt understand what he meant by this. I had always heard the saying but I never thought about it. After Jenny passed, I really thought about why after 5 years, we did get pregnant this year and why with twins. Why in one year is my husband and I are going to loose two very important people to us. I know God has sympathy and this may be his way of helping Jason and his family cope with the loss.

I pray and ask for prayers that my father-in-law will make it to hold his grandchildren. I know its not our decision but I want my husband to experience watching his proud Dad holding his children. Please keep our family in your prayers!

13 weeks

How Far Along: 13 weeks and 2 days

Size of Baby: babies are the size of a large peach

Picture of Baby: the photos are from last Friday but they will do....







Maternity Clothes: love my maternity clothes, my mom bought me several outfits when she visited and I am lucky

Weight Gain: still no weight gain but I am finally able to eat a little bit more and more each day.

Belly: no mistaken that I am pregnant, round and plump

Stretch Marks: got a few white marks this week

Sleep: I sleep pretty well but dont feel like I have when I wake up

Best Moment of the Week: during the ultrasound we got to see our first real movement, Baby A posed but had the hicups. Baby B was Phelps swimming front, back, and side. He didnt sit still the whole ultrasound

Movement: cant wait!

Symptoms: nausea is still strong

Food Cravings: fruit

Gender: scheduled for u/s July 18th.... :)

What I Miss: still missing feeling normal

What I'm Looking Forward to: feeling the movement and knowing sex

Weekly Wisdom: ughhhh not thinking

Milestones: according to my Dr I am in the 2nd trimester

Emotions: I love my babies!

I promise I havent forgot about yall

Hey everyone, just wanted to do a quick post and let yall know everything is okay. nothing happened, I know its been a while since I have posted. I have been so sick with nausea and my family was here for 2 weeks, I just have not had time to sit down and post but I promise I will soon.

I have my Nuchal U/S this Friday, I will post results of course :)

Babies are growing fine because my belly is growing. I look about 4 months pregnant but its nice people can finally tell versus just looking fat.

Alright, love yall and talk soon

PS....I am following everyone but for some reason I cant post. I dont want you to think I dont care.

10 weeks

How Far Along: 10 weeks and 3 days

Size of Baby: Though he's barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce.

Baby A measuring perfect, Baby B was measuring a few days a head

Picture of Baby: probably no more twin shots but put their individual side by side. They are so cute...in love already :)




Maternity Clothes: I am wearing all maternity pants now but I still have some shirts I am able to wear

Weight Gain: well, dropped another 2 pounds because I have been too sick to eat. Got so Zofran to start taking to help.

Belly: I plan on taking a picture next week....so to come....

Stretch Marks: got a few white marks this week

Sleep: my back has been killing me this week so sleep has been hard

Best Moment of the Week: my mom and sister got to come to my U/S...it was just nice to share the moment

Movement: I have felt flutters but I know its probably too soon...maybe gas?

Symptoms: um.....everything! This week I have had allot of soreness in the belly from stretching

Food Cravings: mentos

Gender: dont know....cant wait :)

What I Miss: still missing feeling normal

What I'm Looking Forward to: still feeling the movement

Weekly Wisdom: too tired this week to think

Milestones: I am now in the double digit weeks and have entered the fetal period

Emotions: I love my babies!

out of the single digits :)

Just a quick post, I am officially out of the single digits today. 10 WEEKS! Feels so good, well I still dont feel good but the milestone does. I have had a horrible weekend. I am so out of breath when I do anything and nauseated all the time. I cant wait to see if its true it gets better in the 2nd trimester.

I have my last ultrasound this week with our RE on Wed. I am excited to graduate and move to my OB who I love but I also love the nurses and DR at my RE. So, its going to be bitter sweet.

I will post more on Wed!

9 weeks

How Far Along: 9 weeks and 1 day

Size of Baby: Baby A was measuring right at 9 weeks, Baby B was measuring 9 week and 3 days....they are both about the size of an olive

Picture of Baby: we didnt get that great of photos this week...hopefully next week will be better. they are still doing vaginal u/s and baby B (top) just doesnt photograph well. They said it will be different with belly scan, cant wait.




Maternity Clothes: I broke down and bought a pair of maternity jeans and a dress....looking for a bathing suit

Weight Gain: finally gained a few pounds this week, still below my starting weight

Belly: feel more bloated then pregnant right now

Stretch Marks: none from the pregnancy yet

Sleep: not the greatest, I just cant seam to get comfortable

Best Moment of the Week: telling everyone finally, something about telling the world that makes you feel more pregnant

Movement: not yet but cant wait

Symptoms: horrible week of nausea and no ENERGY!

Food Cravings: cherry sprite

Gender: dont know....

What I Miss: feeling normal

What I'm Looking Forward to: feeling the movement in my belly

Weekly Wisdom: twins due cause your first trimester to suck even more

Milestones: my body is producing my hormones for me, I am now off prometrium and estrogen

Emotions: so excited and finally pregnancy is feeling real

8 weeks

How Far Along: today I am 8 weeks and 3 days

Size of Baby: both babies are the size of a kidney bean and they are measuring to date

Picture of Baby: again Baby A is very photogenic as you can see in the fetal position. Baby B is actually looking at us on in the picture, he is on the right. on the ultrasound you could actually see eyes and face.




Maternity Clothes: i have a pair of capris from my last pregnancy and I have to admit I wear them. my jeans are very snug. its time to go get some essentials.

Weight Gain: i have actually lost weight, i have lost about 5 pounds from my start weight

Belly: belly is there.....we have decided to start telling people because I am getting stares...I AM NOT FAT lol

Stretch Marks: none from the pregnancy yet

Sleep: I have been on bedrest this week due to bleeding so I have had TOO much sleep. my body is sore from laying down.

Best Moment of the Week: seeing such clear photos of baby A in the fetal position and seeing Baby B face

Movement: not yet but cant wait

Symptoms: ugh still have all the first trimester symptoms....nauseated, hungry, thirsty, mouth watering, tired, dizzy, and cramps (growing pain)

Food Cravings: icecream

Gender: still dont know.....thinking baby A is girl/ baby B is boy

What I Miss: still Dr Pepper and hot baths

What I'm Looking Forward to: feeling okay with pregnancy, I had spotting recently and I am ready to see the twinkies next week to have comfort.

Weekly Wisdom: twins cause more bleeding and complications

Milestones: we have past the point where we lost our angel baby

Emotions: scared and concerned but still happy

Going stir crazy but the babies are okay......

So, it happened again. Last night I started bleeding, red, about the amount of a light period. It last about 10 hours. I was so worried, twice in one week, this cant be good. Baby B was so hard to measure at our 7 week appointment and I was so nervous he/she was not okay. I called the Dr this morning and they took me right away.

Waiting for the ultrasound felt like it was taking forever. I really didnt know how to prepare my self for what I was about to see. I was so upset at first because my husband was not going to be able to be there and I wanted him to be there. Luckily, he made it.

Doctor comes in, she knows we are worried so she gets right too it. Baby A, front and center like always with a 170 heartbeat. Baby B hiding like usual but nice strong heartbeat of 180. I just started crying, it was automatic relief. They both measured at 8 weeks exactly which is what I am today.

Dr then shows me a huge spot on the ultrasound and says this is where the blood is coming from. She said its not harmful to the babies or that close but that I was to be on bedrest till Wed. I go back on Wed for another ultrasound to see if it has calmed down. I am just so glad that everything is okay, just knew with all that blood, it couldnt be good.

Oh, the cutest thing today we got to see baby B arm and baby A was photogenic as well. Crazy how in love you can be when they are no bigger then a pea.

7 weeks

How Far Along: today I am 7 weeks and 2 days

Size of Baby: they are both about the size of a blueberry, I dont remember the exact measurements she provided....

Picture of Baby: Baby A was very photogenic, he/she is too the left. Baby B however, has a huge condo but he/she is all the way down at the bottem.



Maternity Clothes: the twins have given me a belly, tight restrictive clothes are deffinitly out now, I like loose. I plan to go shopping at 9 weeks.

Weight Gain: gained 2 pounds this week

Belly: cant hide it much longer, makes my husband smile though, its so cute

Stretch Marks: not yet....keeping that cream on

Sleep: not sleeping as good as I was the last couple of weeks but still getting plenty of rest.

Best Moment of the Week: during the ultrasound, the nurse had both heartbeats in view, it was awesome

Movement: not yet but can feel the belly stretching

Symptoms: nausea is my best friend right now and I dont want to be its friend. They did give me medicine but I am scared to take it. I am using sea bands and they are helping.

Food Cravings: pickles and chicken nuggets

Gender: everyong keeps saying 2 girls, I would like boy/girl

What I Miss: Dr Pepper and hot baths

What I'm Looking Forward to: feeling okay with pregnancy, I had spotting recently and I am ready to see the twinkies next week to have comfort.

Weekly Wisdom: that spotting is usual in pregnancy

Milestones: able to see an actuall figure on the ultrasound, Baby A head and tail was clear.

Emotions: scared and concerned but still happy

bleeding....

I am so freakin out right now thinking not again. We had our ultrasound yesterday. Saw both babies heartbeats at 130 and they were measuring to the day. Everything looked great. Latter that night, I went to put my progesterone in and I had blood in my panties. Red! Sure enough I wiped and it was red. Called the nurse on duty and she said its normal and call in the morning if I am still bleeding. About 3:00 AM got up to go to the bathroom and wiped kinda pinkish blood but I had a liner on and nothing in the liner. Then this morning is now a brownish blood.....

I am going to call and make them give me an ultrasound or something. My next u/s is next Wed but I dont want to wait that long to find out if something happened to one or both. Last time I had to have a D&C, so I am not sure what too look for in a miscarriage.....

Please pray for me and my babies!


UPDATE....

Called the nurse this morning and told her it was now a brownish blood. She said that sounds like its tapering off. She said its normal after a pelvic exam to sometimes have some blood. She asked what I did afterwards, I said I went shopping. She is not worried because I dont have any cramping and its no longer red. She told me to monitor the blood but she didnt think I need to come in for an ultrasound, everything should be good still...

WHAT, that doesnt help. That is a should be? why cant I just come in and see....

anyone ever have anything like this?

Infertility from A to Z

I read this at JSpuared and thought it was an awesome insight for the IF world. Feel free to copy and use, would love to read your answers!

A – Age at Which you Started Trying To Conceive: 23
B – Baby Dancing or Sex: baby dancing
C – Children Wanted: set of 3, now with twins looking at 4 children
D – Dogs/Cats/Fill In Babies: our furbaby, Louie, and my BF child
E – Essential Oils/Vitamins: Prenatal vitamin
F – Fertility Meds I’ve Taken: Baby aspirin, prenatal vitamin, Letrozole, Clomid, Lupron, Prometrium, low dose HCG, trigger shot, Estradiol,, Ovidrel, Follistem, Gonel-F (I am sure I have left off many, lets just say, we have done allot!)
G – Gain, What I have Gained from Infertility: how wonderful my husband has been through out the process and how awesome our families are for support. you really find out who is really there for you!
H – HSG test: yes, hated it but everything was good
I – Infertile Pet Peeve: When people tell you, dont worry if you cant have a baby you can adopt? um, have you looked into the cost of adoption, the waiting list, or even the emotion regarding new born adoptions then of course the famous words "it will happen" no it will not just happen, I have ovulation issues, I DONT OVULATE! you cant have a baby if you dont ovulate
J – Job Title: claims adjuster
K – Kids Names you are Afraid will be Taken: it has already happened and I credit about it for days. it was special, my mothers maiden name was Jackson and she said she wanted her first grandson to be named Jackson. Well, Jason and I talked about it when we first got married and loved it and had it picked since that day. Unfortunatly, there will now be two Jacksons in our family but only one Jackson Thomas Coakley :)
L – Lengh of Time Trying to Conceive: 4 years
M – Miscarriages: 1 at 10 weeks
N – Number of Times you have Swiched Reproductive Endocrinologists: once but I dont think it counts because we went back to our first one
O – Ovarian Quality: they produce follicles, usually empty ones ;(
P – Pee-On-A-Stick or Wait for Aunt Flo: I am a pee-on-a-stick aholic and it doesnt help my husband is too.....
Q – Quote from an Obnoxious Fertile: "your doing fertility treatments, is that because yall dont want to natural" are you KIDDING me, who wants to go through all the pain and suffering of hormones and shots and lets not forget the financial part when I could just MAKE LOVE TO MY HUSBAND...ughhhh
S – Sperm: nice high count, just has a few lazy boys...
T – Time you Tried Naturally: we are always trying naturally hoping for a miracle (5 years)
U – Uterus Quality: slightly tilted but looks good
V – Vagina: No complaints there
W – What Baby Stuff do you Already Have: my mom and sister just purchased me a playyard from Ellen's show for mothers day....that will be my first baby purchase
X – Xtra, Xtra, Hear all about it! How many people know about your TTC Journey: at first, family and close friends, now its like WHATEVER!
Y – Yearly Exam: every year, usually September...my RE recommends an annual
Z – Zits: I take hormones, what do you think!

Mother's Day!!!!!

What a wonderful and special day! Although, it can be hard for us that struggle with infertility or have had a loss, what a special day it is!

My lovely aunt sent me a "Happy Mothers Day" last year. She reminded me that just because my baby was an angel baby, I was still a earth mother and had created a special being I would one day get to meet in heaven. My husband sent me chocolate covered strawberries and told me to be patient, in God's time.

This mothers day is different, still remembering our precious angel baby, we are waiting on the arrival of our two Twinkies. Having morning sickness and just being tired all the time makes me appreciate all the mothers out there that have gone through this many times. After bringing the baby in this world, they forget about all the pain and suffering they endured to get them here and are ready for the next baby. It really is a miracle and an amazing thing. Being pregnant and watching the stages of your baby and your body, is a reminder of our amazing creator.

Then after the baby is here, the nourishment and the love a mother gives you that is unconditional. What an amazing gift we were giving to bare children and be able to mother children. Also for those of us that cant have children, we still have the maternal instinct to mother those children in need.


Happy mothers day to the mothers, mothers to be, and earth mothers! May it be BLESSED!!!!!!!

Week 6 ultrasound.....heartbeats

Here are the little twinkies at 6 weeks......




As you can tell, the sac is double the size. Unfortunatly they were not coroperating for the group shot so its really hard to see them but they are in there. We got to hear both hearbeats. Baby A (on the left) measured at 6 weeks and 1 day, exactly what I was that day. Baby B (on the right) measured at 6 weeks and 3 days and was nesteled right against my wall. Jason said that is a our "basketball player" lol. Just FYI, my husband is 6'3. Hopefully if we have a son, they will get his height. Both heartbeats were at 103.

It was great appointment. Everything is finally feeling real and of course every appointment I am getting more and more comfortable. We go back next Tuesday...cant wait!

Internet can be evil.....

Ugh.....for those that have followed me for a while know that in 2009, we got pregnant with IVF and lost our baby at 11 weeks. Saw the heartbeat from week 6 and our last ultrasound with our RE, no heartbeat was found. We were devastated, we took a year off to grieve, mourn, and have our relationship recoup after 2 years of straight fertility treatments.

Now, 2011, I am 6 weeks pregnant and I cant get that appointment out of my head. Of course now that I know we have twins I have researched



to find out what the miscarriage rate is for twins or that one may not make it. I have drove myself crazy. I am done. No more evil Internet making me worry about something I dont need to.

Its in God's hand and he will take care of our babies. I pray they will be 2 healthy babies we will have in our arms in December and we will get to share them with the world. Our beautiful babies. I prayed this morning and asked God to give me the strength to rely on him and to stop worrying about things that are out of my control. To give me peace and just enjoy this pregnancy and not to over analyze everything. After that prayer I do feel more at peace.

I cant WAIT TILL TUESDAY to get to see our babies again. I will post the updated picture after the appointment.

TWINS!!!!

Our two jelly beans snuggled in.....

U/S went awesome yesterday. Even though I am only like 5 weeks and 3 days, we were able to see the flickering of the heart on both the babies. They are both great size and Dr said they are beautiful. I was speachless at first because in my head I was thinking two cribs, strollers, car seats, etc.....now I am so excited. We have waited so long to have this moment again and to be blessed with two! Words can not describe!!!!

For those families and friends that read, we are not sharing quite yet.....please keep it quiet a little longer :)

Today is the day....

Counting down the hours. Today at 5:00 PM so in 8 hours, I will hopefully find one or two perfect little heart beats on the ultrasound today. I am so nervous and having flash backs of that one day in the office when I was so excited about the last u/s with RE and everything just fell apart. All the dreams and hopes I had for that precious angel were gone.

Some people dont understand how we get so upset when we loose our babies at a few months but what they dont understand they moment we see two lines, we already have the babies future planned out. We already talk about our life and changes that need to be done and so forth.

I pray everyday that this is different, that we dont have to go through that grief and sorrow again. I feel like this one is different, I feel different and I know I just leave it in God's hand because he is in control.

Its kind of weird but I think I have two and have kinda had my mind wrapped around twins so if it is a singleton, I will be a little upset but I will be so happy.....

Alright, now only 7 hours and 45 minutes :)

ICLW

My First ICLW!

Today starts International Comment Leaving Week (ICLW), and this will be my first time participating! I'm looking forward to visiting new blogs I've never been to before, I love to follow new journeys and meet new friends.

For those of you that are new to blogging and have infertility, you may think strangers following you on a blog may be scary, I can tell you from experiences, if it wasnt for the girls that follow me and their encouragement along the way, I know I would have given up a long time ago. Having someone that knows every emotion you are having and dealing with, just means so much.

If you're visiting my blog for the first time, welcome, and thanks for stopping by!

A little about my self, I am 27, will be 28 first of May. My husband will be 27 next week. I married my wonderful husband June of 2004, we are coming up on our 5 year wedding anniversary and 3 year feritlity battle. Of course really the whole 5 yers was a battle because I came off BC as soon as we got married but did not learn about my fertility issues until 2008. I have PCOS, hypothyroid, and endo.

We started fertilty treatments beginning of 2008 and have completed several clomid cycles, 6 IUI's, and 2 IVF. We only acchieved pregnancy with both IVF. The first in 2009, we received a postive and had our weekly u/s from week 6. At week 12, last U/s with RE, they were unable to find a heartbeat. We were devistated and took a year off. Went on a wonderful vacation.

This year we decided to try IVF again, first FET we received our positive. I am currently 5 weeks pregnant, so very early and of course very scared. I believe God has control of all things and when he is ready for me to have a wonderful miracle, it will happen. I just hope he agrees this is the time and we have a heatlhy 9 months.

We find out next week if we are expecting 2 or 1 because we did put back 2 5day blast. Please follow my blog, I love friends and please leave a comment during ICLW.

Thanks for visiting again, hope you enjoy.

Results are in......

Did my blood work this morning and it was a BFP! Quote from the nurse "you are very pregnant". She stated that my levels were twice waht average and she is comfortable with not having to complete a 2nd blood test. I am scheduled next Tuesday, April 26, for our first ultrasound. We will find out then if we are having twins are just a one miracle baby. I am wanting to be so excited, I know I will be next week but now of course I am counting down till the ultrasound and just have the realization.

I did learn one thing, I have to live with my roots. I didnt know you couldnt highlight your hair if you were pregnant and I have highlight in my hair. They need to be done so bad and I actually had an apt this Thursday. I asked my Dr if it would be okay and he said "NO GO" Especially the first trimester. So, hopefully I can make it work.

The amazing process God created......

So, day of transfer our two blast looked like this......






The babies settled in my uterus next to my extremely full bladder.....






AND THE RESULTS....(Top test is 4DP5DT to make sure HCG was out of system, it was negative) the middle two are AM and PM test on 5DP5DT and the last one was taken this morning 6DP5DT and before I could sit it down it was already having a second line.....)

5DP5DT.....and I am

GOING CRAZY! I dont remember last IVF the wait being so bad. Today I thought I would be stupid and take a Dollar Store test thinking its a $1. What does it matter if I waisted it. I think there was a faint line BUT I may be making things up. You know we tend to do that. As for symptoms, I have been very fatigue and light headed, boobs are sore, cramps started yesterday, and my husband said I am being clumpsy but I am on vaginal progesterone which could cause several of those things. So, I am trying to just make it through the weekend. I know I will probably POAS everyday now because I think there was a faint line but I have read where 6DP5DT getting a faint positive. SO it may not be too soon.....


Monday Monday where are yoU!!!!!

you should be able to read my post now....

Sorry, dont know what was going on. Hopefully everyone will be able to read my post now after Ready Set Go!

Good News keeps coming.....keep it coming.....

Okay, sorry its been a bit since I have wrote. So.....egg retreival was done on Monday. Went under with about 13 follicles, they retreived 8. I have prayed for 6 so I was really happy with that number. I was in allot of pain and took the next day off work, it was allot worse then last time and I am sure it was because the difference in stimilation.

Tuesday: fertility report, out of the 8, 6 fertilized, lets plan on the 3 day transfer on Thursday.

Wednesday, still in allot of pain, went to work but it sucked.

Thursday: called to check and make sure we were still doing 3 day transfer, she stated that of the 6, 5 of them were 8 cells and looked great and they wanted to wait for day 5 to see how many blastocyst plus the percentage is better.

Friday: just ready to get Thursday over, I was finally not feeling so sore in my belly

Saturday day of transfer. I remembered my last transfer and being so painful due to my bladder about to bust. So, I decided to take it easy and not chug the water they ask you to chug. Well, 2 hours later and 5 cups of water later, my bladder was full. Once again, I was shaking and crying because I had to peepee so bad and just couldnt. Then of course my Dr and husbandy had a sence of humor and thought while she was pushing on my bladder with the ultrasound and he was opening my uterus, they would talk about water fountains and streams. NOT FUNNY! Anyways, two gorgous blasts were transfered. The report that day of the 5, only 3 were blast. The others werent far behind and they were gonig to give them a few more days to see because they would only freeze blast. I was kinda disappointed that we only had 1 but I was hoping it didnt matter. Took the day easy and Sunday for the most part.

Today: called the Dr to get report on embroyos, all three made it to blast and I now have three gorgeous frozen blast. I started crying, what a piece of mind. Little less pressure off right, lol, who am I kidding.

April 18th is the day for bloodwork. I am of course going to do my best from peeing on a stick but I just have such a good feeling and so does our Dr. I am trying to hold back because of the big posssible disappointment but I am suppose to be positive and that is what I am trying to be....positive.

Thanks everyone for keeping me in your prayers......now we just wait!!!!

Trigger day......

I went today for u/s and today was the day for trigger. on Friday we went and they scared me because there was huge blob on my left ovary and the nurse thought it was a cyst which meant that we were going to cancel the cycle (of course I have already taken about $2500 in meds) she brings the Dr in and he finds that it is a follicle, thank goodness but it was like a 19 which means I needed to trigger that day. Remind you, Jason went to IL this weekend, if we triggered on Friday we would have had retrieval on Sunday which would have not worked. After looking closer, the big blob turned out to be three follicles on top of each other and they were not large enough to have to trigger that night. Went today, several 19, 18, 16, and some small ones. I couldnt really count as he was calling out the sizes but each ovary still has a promising at least 5. Like I told Jason, I dont even care about being in double digits which would be nice but 6 would be a good number. Thats 3 transfers. Hoping we want have to worry about that but I still would like to have that peace of mind.

So, tonight was the trigger. I am fine giving my self all of the shots (FSH, low dose HSG, and even the Ganirelix) because they use insulin needles which are easy to do in the belly and you dont really notice them. But, as most of you know the trigger shot is a whole different ball game. Goes in a muscle and a pretty large needle. Jason always gives that one to me as I hold Louie and try not to think about it. This time, I had to do it and i had no clue how i was going to do that. Well, after about 5 minutes of debating what to do, I managed to suck it up and get it in my hip. I pulled back and thought I saw blood, freaked and pulled out. Of course that meant I had to put the shot back in, gave what i thought all of the shot, pulled out and guess what med still in the syringe. So, had to actually give my self the same shot three times (Are you kidding me) lol.....we all could write books couldnt we.

I now wait till Monday at 6:30 AM scheduled for the retrieval. I will know that day how many was retrieved and then usually the next day a call advising how many were successfully fertilized. I am under the weather most of the retrieval day but if I get a moment I hope to leave yall an update of how many eggs I got, pray for 5 or more! :)

Fear Number 1

Alright, first ultrasound since baseline. I was so nervous going in. I just knew I didnt have that many just like last time. First ovary, a 10 which is awesome and then about 6 or 7 more which were all decent size based on CD I am on. other ovary, about the same thing about 6 or 7. So at this moment we have about a dozen (maybe baker dozen) of eggs that are growing well. So, fear number one has been put to rest.....

Now fear number two comes up and its that when they do retreival I will have empty follicles like last time and end up with three......just praying this will not happen.

Praying my mommyhood days are coming soon......

Ready! Set! Go......!

Baseline completed! Bloodwork completed! First day of shots have come and gone. So, now we begin. Everything looked good on our baseline check up last week and we started I took Femera on Sat along with my daily dose of HCG and Follistem. I remember all the medicine from last time but the dose is so much more. What put it in perspective, I received the follistem cartridge of 2 (900 IU) and 2 (600 IU) and I put it in the fridge next two the left over from last cycle which was a 300 IU cartridge, we only bought 2 cartridges that cycle and I didnt even use all of them. Now I am donig 300 IU a day plus 60IU of HCG a day. After three days of shot my belly is so black and blue. I have at least 10 more days of shots to go, where am I going to put them all. Positive note, its nice outside so I am wearing dresses and dont have to deal with the rubbing of pants or jeans. Plus, dont know if my jeans would button because of the swollen ovaries I have that make me feel 3 months pregnant. The things we will go through to get pregnant, almost forgetting about the 9 months of torture I am beggin for.

So, this IVF we have kept quiet. The last IVF we told our family every step of the way and called them the day we got the results. Of course, my momma couldnt get her excited mount quiet and told almost everyone in the town she lives in. We started getting congrats cards in the mail after I remember distingly telling mom, keep this quite until we are comfortable to tell everyone (3 months). So, we last the baby right at 3 months and when I went to IL to visit my mom, everyone was telling me congrats still. I felt so bad telling them we lost it plus I just really didnt want to talk about it right now. We love our families, we just wont to go through this together and we will include them soon enough. My mom is going to be so mad when she finds out but it is actually better for her emotionally becuase she would call me everyday, "how you feeling" "what you doing" "you been eatin right" ....blah blah blah. I know it comes from a loving plate but when you trying to be stress free it doesnt help.

We go on Wed for our first U/S, so nervous. I know we will have an idea at that point how many follicles we are working with. We are so nervous because I usually produce low and we only got 3 eggs last time to work with. I am nervous after everything we will be back in the same spot. So, everyone please keep us in your prayers!

change again.......

Okay, so I will make this long story short. The "DR of multiples" with the high sucess rate (our new RE) just didnt feel right. We went before vacation to what was suppose to be our IVF consultation. We met with nurse to go over medication and how to give myself a shot (like I dont already know that after 3 years of feritlity treatments) and go over the calendar, we then met with Dr who completed a vaginal ultrasound and did a Saline (trial) transfer, and then we went to pay our co-pay of $50.00, well or we thought. They slapped a $500 bill on us and we still dont know for what. I thought, this must be part of the $8,500 for the IVF, sat down with the financial nurse who advised it was not and it would cost us around $13,000 for the IVF including the meds and they dont have a payment plan or financing. The $13,000 would be due at start date of March 15th. So, we go home and start checking our accounts to see where we wanted to pull this amount from because its 2 weeks away......

Then it hit me. I dont like these people, the staff is rude, the Dr doesnt ask you questions he just tells you and schedules. Then they are making us pay $500 and for what, never explained the cost. Is this who we trust with an entire savings account to do what is right for us, what is best for us!

I dont think so. The reason we didnt go with our RE from prior IVF was because we felt robbed. We loved them and they loved us. It is the type of office where the nurses dont have to look at your chart to know your name or what is going on. (Insert about other Dr, they have to take our picture and put on our file, weird) After discussion, we thought we should at least hear him out as to why he thought we only had 1 quality egg out of an entire IVF cycle....we made appointment and met with him the Friday we left for vacation. He made us understand everything....we did what is called a mini stim IVF. The goal is not to provide eggs and is less medicine which in return is less money. He stated if we chose to go on with him for a second one, he would do a traditional which the goal is to produce as many eggs in a healthy way. YEAHHHH!!!!!! And by the way, they have a payment plan if we wanted to utilize and cheaper.



SOOOO.....change again is the RE. We are back with Dr Lipari and we are so happy and comfortable about that. We got the calendar in the mail yesterday. We have our baseline ultrasound Tuesday and then start with the injections. He was not kidding about last IVF being less meds. Just to sum it up there are 11 catagories on the chart for meds and I have something in every colum. I am going to be one toxic woman.

Keep us in your prayers as we go through this, again! : )

Plan B (once again)

Well, guess what. 2 clomid cycles with IUI later....still no positive. That is a total of 6 IUI's and not one has worked. Our insurance only covers 6 lifetime IUI cycles so if we did decide to do another one it would be out of pocket. We did switch RE's this year so only 2 of those cycles were with him and he does recommend 3 before moving on to IVF but I just think we are tired of going through the process with no positive outcome. So......dundundun.......we are moving on to IVF!!!!!

Ugghhhh...nerves, butterflies, negativity, optimistic, scared, and so many more feelings come about when talking about doing another IVF cycle. We are hoping with this new RE, he will not be as conservative and we will at least get embroyos that we can freeze. Last time we eneded up with 3 at egg retrieval, only 2 matured, and we transferred both. when we lost the baby, we were not able to do a frozen cycle. I will feel so much better if we have that option after the transfer. I hope we get a miracle like last time and get pregnant on the first try, our new Dr is known as the Dr of multiple but I would love to have more then one so I am not that nervous about that. We have a great support system that would help us along the way.

Well girls and my few guy followers, here we go. The new journey of the IVF cycle. We meet with the Dr on valentines day to discuss the cost and the procedure. We will know then more about when we are looking on starting the cycle. we do have a vacation plan early March, so we are thinking after that.